One and Done

Has anyone ever had someone “hit it and quit it?”

I went 31 years before it happened to me.  I met a guy at a beach concert. I typically would have paid him no attention and walked away from him.  I had just gotten groped by a random in my bikini and was ready to punch any male that approached me.  He bought my guy friends a round of drinks and shots.  Bill even asked my guy friends permission to dance with me.  Bill went as far as telling me, “I don’t want you to think I am taking advantage of you since you are drinking.”  He would kiss me on the cheek or forehead instead of on my lips.  I gave him my number and we went our separate ways.  I will give it to him he buttered me up good.  Three weeks of phone calls which is rare these days along with text messages.  Bill making plans for us to go out.  I actually really liked him at this point.  I finally gave into having sex with him.  I was on a three-month hiatus of no sex.  I was hoping for something amazing.  His zebra print boxer booty briefs should have been a red flag.  Bill did not attempt foreplay with me besides compliment my nipples and ass.  I was kind and did a job for him.  We have sex and it maybe lasted ten minutes.  I am being generous.  It was the first time we slept together which is not always the greatest one.  I tried not to dwell on it.

Bill continues to text me.  Two days later, I am unfriended on Facebook.  I am confused and slightly pissed off at him.  I send a few text messages.  He ignores and asks me which one of my friends wants to fight him.  Bill proceeds to tell me how he’ll beat him up.

I am confused at why someone would put so much time and effort into a person if they only planned to one and done them.  I value my time and effort.  I would not waste my time on pursuing someone for only one time with them.  I was hurt because I liked him.  I was more angry at myself though.  How did I let Bill get one past me with his bullshit?  He was just a douche that fooled me.

I got the last laugh though twice.  He called me saying, “Hey what’s up? I lost all the names to my numbers in my phone. Who is this?”  I thought this was a joke.  He proceeds to tell me to give him hints.  On the third hint, I said, “I haven’t seen you since you came over on your lunch hour one Friday afternoon.”  He goes, “Oh my god!  You hate me!”  I am full on laughing at this point.  We had a hilarious, awkward, weird conversation for two minutes.  I was loving that for those two minutes he felt like a complete asshole.  The last laugh was a couple of weeks ago.  I ran into him for the first time in two months.  He gave me a weird, awkward, high-five/hand shake thing and kept walking past me.  I ordered him a shot of Patron and Grand Marnier together.  I asked the bartender to give it to him and say it was on the house.  His face looked like he wanted to die or throw up after taking the shot.

The moral of the story… his looks were not worth his notch on my bed post.

2 thoughts on “One and Done

  1. Don’t be hurtin my beautiful chickie. Dudes just want to hit it and quit it.. I don’t know what this dude prefers but most likely he didn’t like how u looked naked. Don’t take that to offense Hun but us dude are very superficial and if we see u unwrapped and didn’t like your body naked…. We won’t be tapping that again. We’re assholes like that point. blank. period. And we always want the next best thing.. Keep ur head up tho

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    • You must have missed the part where it was a beach concert and I was in a bikini when he met me. LOL He already got to see me unwrapped pretty much since a bikini does not leave much to the imagination. My nips and miss lucy are in perfect condition. He commented how much he liked both of those. He was unfortunately just an asshole 🙂

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