Not Tonight Hun…

How many times have you given an excuse or gotten an excuse to get out of having sex with your significant other?  I am guilty of giving excuses in two past relationships.  Those would have been with Gary and Barry.  Those are two relationships I wish I could erase from my life.  Also that is a pretty big red flag that you would rather give an excuse than have sex with your girlfriend or boyfriend.

Gary was very generic in the bedroom department.  He looked at my crazy when I brought home real handcuffs for us to use.  I think I tried to use them once on him and he started whining like a baby.  There were many times I would try to be spontaneous and have sex at the apartment.  Many of those times he told me he just wanted to relax and watch TV.  I would end up in the bedroom having “me time.”  He was also not known for much stamina.  It was usually no frills sex and only lasted a few minutes.   I went from fun, marathon sex and adventures with Ken and Cameron to watching grass grow in the bedroom.  This was not something I was used to in the sex department.  Gary never got me to orgasm.  I am not sure if he even knew how to get a woman off.  It got to the point Gary would nudge me for sex before bed.  I would think is it worth the five minutes?  Do I really get anything out of it in the five minutes?  Do I really want to get up and cleaned off after the five minutes?  The answer kept circling back to not tonight hun.  I would say I had a headache or stomach-ache.  I would hear a grumble from him as he rolled over.  I have no idea why I stayed in that horrible relationship for two years.

Barry thought he had a big one in his pants.  I guess in high school he was nicknamed horse.  It was big girth wise.  I have definitely dated guys bigger than he was in that department.  He did not know how to work it very well.  The baby talk did not help in that department either.  He was another one that never got me to orgasm.  There were many times I told him I had a stomach-ache to get out of having sex with him.  He would then start talking to me like a baby and trying to hold my stomach.  It still makes me cringe.  I am not sure why I ever even dated him let alone why I stuck around for a year and seven months.

My advice to anyone that does this excuse often or receives this excuse is to get out of the relationship.  There is something wrong that two people in a relationship are avoiding having sex with one another.  You need to talk to the other person and see what the problem is between you two.  Or you need to part ways.  It does not make you a bad person.  It means you weren’t sexually compatible with each other.

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