A guy friend of mine, Tony, always had the most bizarre sex stories.  I even witnessed some of the events that led up to them.  I would not have believed the stories if I hadn’t seen some of them myself.  Tony and his cuckoo birds were like the modern-day soap opera.

He had his one bird, Nicole, over his house one evening.  They started having sex in his room.  Tony thought she was exceptionally wet.  She was on top riding him.  Nicole wanted to jump off the horse and pop his Pringle can in her mouth.  She was going to town on him.  She stopped for a minute.  Nicole told Tony it tasted like pennies.  He had no clue what she was talking about.  She said his dick tasted like copper.  They turned on a light.  Tony looked at Nicole with an awkward face.  He said, “You’re on your period.”  She had her own blood on her face and all around her mouth.  There was blood all over his crotch and dick.  He was grossed out, but he found the humor in it since it wasn’t in his mouth.  I would have died and thrown up.

That gives a whole new meaning to becoming one with yourself.