I used to do modeling and modeling competitions.  However, the thought of having sex in front of a mirror frightened the hell out of me.  Who would think that someone who modeled wouldn’t want to see themselves naked?  Who would think a model could be self-conscious?  When I met Ken, he helped me to be more confident in my own skin.

It was in September of 2003.  Will invited me to his college frat party.  This college was known to be a smart school.  I never thought a party would be fun there.  I decided to go and check it out.  I was shocked that it really was a frat party with lots of alcohol and good-looking men.  Will introduced me to Ken.  I can remember this evening well down to what I was wearing and what he was wearing at the party.  He was tall, muscular, brown hair, nice hard jaw line and made you go weak in the knees.  I could barely talk.  It is not often someone leaves me speechless.  Little did I know, this encounter would be the most innocent one we had together.

I found myself partying a lot there.  Will had a party at his house.  We stayed there together on a pull out couch.  It was PG-13.  We only fooled around.  I started staying over night in his room at the frat house.  The rooms were designed to get the most efficiency out of them.  Each room had two people living in them.  It had space for a desk for two people.  It had two tall closets.  There was a kind of loft space with a futon and TV area.  The sleeping area was under the loft.  They were spilt into two caves.  It was big enough for a single mattress on the floor and a curtain.  Ken had his cave decorated with blue rope lights and mirrors on the wall.  Attention K-Mart shoppers, we have a blue light special.  I was very apprehensive of crawling into the cave not to mention those mirrors.  I never wanted to see me in them.  Ken told me how beautiful I was and that I should not be scared to look in the mirror.  He got me to look the mirror while we were having sex.  I never knew how much of a turn on it was to see yourself having sex.  It was hot.  Maybe it was because Ken was so ridiculously good-looking.  He even got me to try out the infamous sixty-nine position.  I was always nervous about having my Miss Lucy all up close and personal with someone’s face.  Ken nudged me into looking in the mirror for this position as well.  I loved everything about this new high.

There were a handful of times he got me to step out of my comfort zone in the frat house.  One time, I sat him down in a chair in the hallway and pulled his pants down.  I kindly got on my knees to do a job for him.  He obviously had no objections to that job.  I think guys get high-fived for this sort of thing in frats.  Another time, we had sex in the bathroom.  The bathrooms in the frats are not as private as you would think.  The bathroom stalls had doors, but the shower stalls did not have doors.  We started out having sex in the shower and then moved inside the bathroom stall.  It was the ‘I have to have you right now’ kind of sex.  The other time, we were in the stairwell.  It was such a rush doing sexual activities where we could get caught.  I did not even care if someone saw us.  It turned me on more thinking someone would stumble upon us.

Ken finally moved out of the frat house and only a couple of houses down from Will.  We were at a party at Will’s house.  Ken and I went outside for a cigarette.  We were chilling on the couch on the porch.  I had a shit eaten grin on my face.  He knew I was up to something fun.  I unzipped his pants and started sucking him off.  He enjoyed the spontaneous sex adventures as much as I did.  It was so much fun having someone to get me out of my shell.

Our code text to each other was about wanting a cigarette which meant come over for sex.  We would have a cigarette before and after we had sex.  We fooled around on his porch as well.  We would start having sex in his room and move it to the shower.  One night, we played a game.  I let him use objects that he had on the second floor in this game.  The game was using these objects to stick inside of me.  I cannot remember every object he used on me since we were drinking that night.  I do remember he tried a cardboard paper towel tube and the handle of a vibrating toothbrush.  It was a silly game, but we had fun with it.

This on and off again fling we had went on for a few years.  I was a try-sexual with him.  He got me to open up and blossom in my sex life.  We had a lot of amazing sex.  Before I met him, I could never imagine doing half of those activities.  It was fun stepping out of my comfort zone.  I loved becoming confident without clothes on.  Ken graduated from college and stuck around in Pittsburgh for a little while.  He ended up moving to L.A.  We continued sexting over the years when we were both single.  I am sure there are plenty of people who could not imagine doing sexual acts where they could get caught by someone.  There are probably even more people who would never play a game like we did.  The question should not be “Why?”  The question should be “Why Not?”