I Just Need to Pee

You should always pee before you leave a bar if you have broken the seal.  This goes back to Sebastian always saying to never pass up an opportunity to pee because you do not know when you’ll find another restroom.  You could be in a car or in line to go to the restroom at a concert or a bar.  You are clenching it together.  You feel that pain from holding it in.  Everyone knows that is one of the worst feelings in the world.

keep-calm-and-do-u-mind-i-need-to-peeI was partying down at one of my favorite colleges.  I had been out at the bars with my friends.  I did not feel like staying over night down there.  I did not have a lot to drink at all.  I got in my car and headed out.  Before I was out of downtown, the urge to pee hit me.  I was right by Cameron and Levi’s new place.  I would rather pee in their house than in a gas station bathroom.  I pulled into their parking lot and went into their place.  Cameron was not home, but Levi was there.  We were bullshitting.  I told him I only stopped by their place for one reason, so I could go pee before heading back home.  He said you can use the bathroom after we get her out of there.  I was perplexed by his statement.  Levi told me the broad he brought home and had sex with was in the bathroom.  ::Lord have mercy I just need to pee::  He said she had been in the bathroom for a while.  I did not know what I was going to find behind that door.  I opened the door to the bathroom.  The broad is naked, passed out, and sitting on the toilet for Christ’s sake.  I tried tapping, poking, talking to her.  She was not waking up for anything.  Levi and I picked her up off the toilet and carried her into his room.  We covered her with blankets and shut his door.  I darted for the bathroom.  That is one of the best feelings when you get to pee after holding it in.  Levi thanked me for helping him out.  He asked if I was going to stay and wait for Cameron to get home.  I told him no I just really needed a place to pee.  That was it.

If I would have peed at the bar, I would not have had to deal with a naked, passed out broad.  How drunk do you have to be to pass out on a toilet?  I feel like being naked and on a toilet would not make me tired.  I can say I have never passed out on a toilet clothed or naked.  That is a very vulnerable position.  It was not too horrible of a situation.  It did give me something to laugh about on the way home.

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