The Big O

The first porno I watched was ‘Exit to Eden.’  Nothing screams sexy like Dan Aykroyd and Rosie O’Donnell in leather outfits. Ha.  Pornos, magazines, and so on, show and talk about orgasms during sex.  When you are young watching a porno, you assume sex makes you orgasm every time.  It seems like it is just loud moaning.  You read an article about women having orgasms during sex.  Everyone must be  having orgasms all the time.

When I was younger having sex, I never had an orgasm.  I did not want to be the red-headed step child, so I faked it.  The guys always get their release from ecstasy.  I always faked it.  I thought there was something wrong with me.  I could get myself off, but I could not orgasm while having sex.  I enjoyed having sex.  It felt good.  I just never got to the finish line.

I have talked to some of my past beaus about this topic.  They did not know they never got me off.  I must have given a hell of a performance.  Do guys really not know if a broad has an orgasm?  Maybe they are in the dark just as much as the women.  My body shudders and shakes a little bit from it.  It truly feels like an earth quake.  You even have the after shocks like one.

I was always alone when I had ‘me time.’  I was self-conscious when a guy I was dating would actually try to make me orgasm.  I am notorious for squirming away when I am getting close to my O.  I never masterbated in a mirror, so I had no 989idea what I looked like when it happened to me.  What if I made an ugly face.  That would not be sexy during sex.  After Peter and I had sex one night, I pulled out my bullet to get my orgasm.  It was the first time I was ever going to masterbate with someone else in the same room let alone right next to me in bed.  He was upset that I did that after we had sex.  He got his release.  I wanted to get mine too.  I was happy I was able to break through that comfort wall and achieve the task with him in bed next to me.  It is hard to please everyone’s egos when it comes to the big O.

I love when people hear I do not usually orgasm from sex.  You would think the world stopped moving for a moment.  Most people think you need to have an orgasm to enjoy sex.  You can have amazing sex without having an orgasm.  At least, I have had great sex even though I did not get my earthquake.

I learned I am more of a clitorus orgasm.  I can make myself cum every time with my clit.  I am in my 30’s and can say only two men have ever got me to orgasm.  I tell men I am seeing that I do not usually orgasm from sex.  I feel that it is better to give a disclaimer to avoid that awkward moment during sex.  That moment when a guy says, “Are you close?”  I faked orgasms when I was a young broad.  I do not play pretend anymore.  Ain’t nobody got time for that.

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