It’s All in the Kiss

badkiss badtongueA family friend always told me to remember, “It’s all in the kiss.  If you don’t get a good kiss, you ain’t getting a good dick.”

That saying proves to be true time and time again.  I even found out from guy friends that they feel the same way about a bad kisser.  My one buddy, Noah, told me he was making out with this gorgeous broad.  He said she was a terrible kisser which was such a turn off for him.  If she hadn’t been unbelievably hot, he would not have had sex with her.  Noah said he never hooked up with her again.  Guys are turned off just as much as broads by a bad kiss.

There are kisses in movies that you get hot and bothered from watching it.  There are those kisses that are so bad in movies that you feel awkward for them.  Some people may prefer soft lip kisses.  Other people may prefer hard, long kisses.  A lot of people may enjoy a combination of different kinds of kisses.  However, not many people like the bird pecks, the Hoover maneuver vacuum cleaner, or the water hose wet face.

The problem with a bad kiss is that it does not get you turned on to go any further with that person.  If a person is not good with their tongue, they probably are not good with any rhythm in their hips.  Who wants to waste a notch on their belt on bad sex?  Nobody.  You have to wonder if these bad kisser’s really do not realize how horrible they are at kissing.  This may go in the same category as guys who do not know about women’s orgasms due to women faking it.  Maybe no one told these people they are bad at it.  Or maybe the person was not worth telling they were bad at it because you were not that invested in them.  A bad kisser is a deal breaker.

I had a guy recently who was like a water hose bad kisser.  The entire face area around my lips was soaked and slobbered on.  I was not into the moment at all.  I kept thinking this is terrible.  The problem was it got worse.  I did not feel anything “hard.”  Typically, a broad would feel something hard poking her in the ass, back, or leg.  I felt nothing.  I refused to reach down and confirm my suspicions.  I was already thinking it was small and soft.  He was a good-looking, muscular guy.  Despite his looks he was a bad kisser with nothing downstairs to offer a broad.  I rolled over and went to sleep.

Do not waste your time.  It is unfortunate to find out, but it is better to find out before you had sex with him.  It saves that notch for someone else.  If you need reminded on how bad a kiss can be for someone, watch this clip from the ‘Sex and the City’ episode.  Bad Kisser

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