The Rebound

What is a rebound in a relationship?  A rebound is when someone gets out of a serious relationship and finds a new someone to band-aid their feelings.  It is a distraction for them.  It is a way to avoid dealing with their feelings from their ex.  The problem with that is you fall into something with an illusion.  Most people project their feelings from the last relationship into the rebound.  It does not always work out well to rely on a rebound to save yourself from the real pain.

Can a relationship or marriage really work out in the long run with a rebound?  I believe 99% of the time it will not work out.  You do not give yourself time to heal and learn from your last relationship.  How can you open your heart truly when it is attached to someone else?

My ex-boyfriend, Gary, and I cut friendly ties at the end of March in 2007.  Gary started dating Melinda in April. She moved into his apartment by June.  They were engaged in July.  I heard from people who knew Melinda that she was cheating on Gary with her ex-boyfriend while they were engaged.  Gary and Melinda got married in July 2008.  It was about two weeks after their wedding that she told him she wanted a divorce.

I ended my relationship with Barry in May 2011 when I found out he was cheating on me for the umpteenth time with Natalya.  That was the last slap in the face I was going to take because she was a math teacher.  Everyone knows women math teachers are not known for their looks.  They immediately started dating in June.  How could you date someone and be able to trust them knowing they cheated on their last significant other?  Barry started texting me about how he missed me and all that other nonsense.  He was doing what he did to me to Natalya.  I did not feel bad for her because she was stupid enough to be the rebound knowing he was not faithful in his last relationship.  Over the past few years, I would find out he was creeping on my social media pages and trying to reach out.  I had no desire to have him be in any part of my life.  I got a text from a mutual guy friend last year telling me that Barry was a creep.  Barry was engaged to Natalya and hitting on our friend’s sister at a country concert.  I was not surprised.  Barry and Natalya just got married this year.  

I wonder how that marriage with a rebound will work out.  I know which side I have my bet on.  There may be a few couples who can make it work for the long haul with a rebound.  However, lezbehonest, 9 times out of 10 it does not work out.  The rebound is just like a basketball.  We all love to bounce a ball.  But it can only bounce for so long before it comes to rest on the ground.  The truth always rolls out of us.  


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