I have said online websites or apps on the phone to meet people are not for me. I had the idea to write about Tinder because of all the stories I have heard about it. Yes, there are some friends of mine who have actually ended up in relationships from Tinder. However, I think there are twenty horror stories to every good one.
This idea I had though involved me actually downloading the app. I opened the Tinder app up and had no idea what half the crap was or meant in it. Yes, I will admit it. I had to go to the website and read the directions. Someone super liked me. I got the notification on my phone.
::puzzled look on my face:: What in the piss is a super like? Did they cum in their pants as soon as they saw my picture or just pitch a tent? Maybe they felt a little tickle under their taint.
I was using the X button for a little bit because I was scared I was going to swipe the wrong way. All of a sudden, Douche Bag Bill came up on my stack of men cards. It showed he was 2 miles away. I was scrolling through his picture selection and a crotch shot popped up. Oh My God. Why the piss would you put that on social media?! Because people like me are going to screen shot that and send it to my friends while laughing my ass off. If I saw that before I met him, I never would have given him a chance. I do not care how big of a dick you have if you are a douche bag. What do you think I did? Swiped… To the left, to the left!
Bill was the guy from my ‘One and Done’ post. I learned back in September last year that someone had his baby. That meant while he was out screwing me over and all the other broads his baby mama was in another state just sitting around pregnant waiting for him.
Oh lord, baby Jesus, help me! Wish me luck!