Archive | March 2016

Me or We?

When you are single in life, it is only you.  There are two of you when you are a part of a couple.  Me becomes we.  There is nothing wrong with this transition.  It is okay to be in a relationship.  It is nice having someone stand next to you and hold your hand.  However, if you lose yourself completely, that can be a problem.

People in relationships are not the only ones guilty of adding to this problem.  If your friend Sally shows up to the bar without her other half, you skip over ‘Hello’ and immediately ask her, “Where’s Bob?”  Sally was just dismissed as a person because she was not with her significant other.  Why do the majority of people skip over someone?  Do you have to lose yourself when you become a part of a ‘We?’

The other people that contribute to this problem are the ones who cannot do anything without their significant other.  Were you not an individual before you became a couple?  Why can’t you come out by yourself?  Will you combust into nothing if you step out by yourself?  It is not healthy to be with your other half all day, every day.  It is a great being able to share your life with someone.  It is wonderful if you find that person to compliment who you are as a person.  None of that means you have to give up your whole self to be a part of a couple.  Couples that will go the distance are the ones that understand the importance of balance in a relationship.

Everyone needs time to themselves or time with their own friends.  When you are married with kids, you need time for you, your husband, and your kids.  You cannot be a mom all the time and neglect yourself and your husband.  There has to be balance in a relationship, friendship, marriage, eating, working out, and anything you do in life.  Moderation and balance are the keys in life.

Tinder: Update 3

imageHow many times have you heard a man detest cats?  I am officially calling bullshit.  There are a lot of men on Tinder holding cats in their pictures.  The amount is kind of shocking.  It seems there are a lot of men who are closet cat lovers.  I also find it funny how many guys have puppies as their front picture or the guy holding the puppy.  It reminds me of the creepy guy with candy luring the kid into their van.  As if, women spread their legs for any dick with a puppy.  

Next, we have the men who think their best side is showing their imagepackages.  I do not care how big a guys dick is if he is a douche bag.  No dick is worth shit if he is an asshole.  How many women would sleep with a guy just because he has a big dick?  Is it the old beauty is only a light switch away idea or throw a brown paper bag over their head?  I do not like dick pix.  I look like the monkey emoji covering its eyes when I receive one.  Dicks, balls, vaginas, and assholes are not cute.image

There is a reason they are called private parts.  They need to stay private.  These guys are putting their hot dogs, bananas, or eggplants out on social media for everyone to see and screenshot.  This David guy is stating he wants something serious, but his picture states the opposite.  He is just writing fluff for what every typical broad wants to hear from a man.  The smart ones would see his big dick bullshit.  His dick also looks like it hooks a little.  Most broads do not want a crooked dick.  If we did want that, we would just sit on our thumbs and rotate.

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Andrew thought this was his best side for the camera.  Ha.  Oh man.  Tinder is definitely good for some laughs.  It is also sad this is what women have to pick from in the single pond.  It is not very appealing.  Single is more appealing than subjecting yourself to one of these dickimage bags.  I know Tinder is not eHarmony, but it also is not Craigslist.  Tinder works with your Facebook account.  If you only wanted a fuck buddy or a booty call, you still need to treat the person like a human being and not a piece of meat.  A lot of guys and maybe broads too forget that little piece of the puzzle.  There is nothing wrong with just wanting someone to hook up with now and then.  Some people cannot commit to one person, have time for a relationship, or are ready to open themselves up for a relationship.  That does not make them bad people, but it also does not give them the right to degrade someone for sex.  We should all do our part in trying to keep whats between our legs a little classy and something to desire.

 

 

 

Tinder: Update 2

There are a few nice, normal guys on Tinder.  However, the majority seem to be assholes, creeps, pigs and douche bags.  imageimageWho are these women out there allowing these “men” to talk to them in such a degrading, disrespecting manner?!  My girlfriends and I clearly know that it will not be tolerated with us.  Yes, sometimes it is funny and sometimes it is rude.  Who raised these boys?  Why do they think first conversation means they can ask every detail of your sex life?  Who said we wanted to have sex with them?  Did they miss the lesson where we learned that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? 

imageThese guys may be nice looking, but it does not mean we automatically want to sleep with them.  Swiping right is not the leg opener at least not for most women.  We like to take care of ourselves and our pikachus.  No one likes chipped ham or blown out tires down there.  I have not lost my “sex drive” since walking into the thirties club, but I am much more selective with who gets to water my flower bed.  I would rather go another nine months of no sex than sleep with a dog.  That is one reason I rescued a female puppy.  I hate the red rocket on male dogs.  There are enough creeps running around with their red rockets out that I did not want one in my house.

It truly amazes me that these “men” think talking to a broad like this will prosper them in any way.  They might as well put peanut butter on

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Eddie the Dickhole’s number please contact him if you’d like slutty sex

their dick and have their dog lick it off.  Because the majority of women are going to tell them to piss off.  The best part is I normally have no problem talking about sex hence this blog, but I do not owe you any details or truth if you are some random creep.  Eddie, the 26 year old creep, thought he could get all the details and names of who I slept with recently.  No sir, you are not privileged to that information.  Did he think coming at me with a tone was going to help sell his case of wanting to get his dick wet in my flower bed?  He asked if my friend I last slept with fucked me good.  I am pretty sure Eddie has more creepy crawlers in his crotch than worrying about my pristine Miss Lucy.  He can fuck off with his Section 8 dick.  

There may be people who do not like apple products.  However, the block feature on iPhone’s is the best thing since spanx.  Keep your head held high and your middle finger higher.  Bye Felicia.

 

Tinder: Update 1

imageI am really bad at remembering to message these guys back on Tinder.  I slightly suck at it.  I get called out for it too.  Whoops.  However, in my defense, some of these guys message me late at night during the week.  I have to let them know I am asleep by or before 10 o’clock during the week.  Late nights during the week are once in a blue moon now.  I am not old either.  I am seasoned.  I also know if I do not get enough sleep it better be for a good reason because I will be tired and cranky as all hell the following two days.  Ha.

This Devin guy uses emojis like it’s his job and he is getting paid for it.  I question if he is another gay straight man.  What happened to small talk?  This guy is taking it right to the altar.  I decided he was too cereal for me.  ::unmatched::

When did men become more desperate than women with an internal clock ticking away?  The majority of people  really do not like slapping a label on things right out the gate.  Where is the fun in that?  Most of us avoid that topic as long as we possibly can.  I cannot imagetake some of these guys seriously though.  This Daniel guy very well could have been joking.  However, he did say he really did like long walks on the beach.  What happened to the manly men?  Did gay straight men take over?  It is nice to walk on the beach with someone special to you, but I don’t want to hear how you love that and candle lit baths.  I would rather you not say anything to me, grab me up like a cavemen, throw me over your shoulder, throw me on the bed, and show me who is boss.  I do not want to sit around and talk about feelings with you or where our future is going.  If I wanted to do that, I would call one of my girlfriends or my gay best friends to come over for wine.