Jeepers Creepers

I can say with confidence everyone is guilty to a certain level of creeping on someone.  It is hard not to do with todays social media and technology.  It makes it pretty easy for someone to find out about another person.  However, some people take it to a whole other level.  They go above and beyond the little innocent creeping to almost stalking in a sense.  ::queue Michael Jackson:: “I always feel like somebody’s watching me..”

I have creeped on people via social media.  It is like window browsing.  You can look, but do not touch.  Amateurs are bad at it.  Some people do not know that LinkedIn shows you who looked at your profile or it tells you one of these people in a group looked at your profile.  You can always guess who it was that looked at your profile.  I have had numerous ex-boyfriends wives or girlfriends, old friends, or ex-boyfriends themselves show up on your LinkedIn.  Rookies.  There are the rookie mistakes of creeping on someone on Facebook and you end up requesting them as a friend.  That is my all time favorite.  I typically call those broads out for shits and giggles.  They are nine times out of ten friends with my guy friend’s new girlfriend.  This is all the innocent creeping.

One of the levels I have not graduated to is the drive by someone’s house.  I know quite a few females who have driven by the guy’s house.  Some have taken pictures as evidence to what cars they saw at the house.  Some have made me be the driver, so the guy would not recognize my car.  It is almost like stalking a person.  What drives a person to do this?  Trust?  Insecurity?  Paranoia?  I know a handful of broads that had decoy Facebook accounts.  They used them to creep.  The problem was they took it to a different level.  They would tell people it was a cousin.  They had a whole back story for this pretend person.  I had a girlfriend get mad at me once because I told someone it was really her.  Who has that kind of spare time to invest in making someone up?  If you have that little of trust in someone, you should probably not be dating them or interested in them.  Another level would be messaging other people who you think are interested in your someone.  I know a few ladies who have indulged in that guilty pleasure.  They try to mark their territory.  The problem with that is no one really cares.  If a wedding ring cannot deter someone from going after another person that is married, your message on social media will fall on deaf ears.  Those types of messages will be laughed at and looked at as crazy desperation.   

Some of my girlfriends are almost private investigator status.  They can find anything out.  My one best friend saw a picture of her man at a fancy bar and she felt like something was off that evening.  She looked up his ex girlfriend’s instagram account.  That broad had the exact same picture up.  They may not have been in each other’s pictures, but they were most definitely at the same bar.  I would say the only way to possibly get away with cheating is by not having any social media.  There is always a downloadcookie crumb trail left behind.

The problem with all of the creeping and stalking antics it kind of makes you look crazy.  It is not the type of crazy that majority of people want others to see in the daylight.  Most people like to hide that crazy in a locked trunk.  These gestures also do not help you keep your love interest or significant other in the long run.  Who wants to be with someone that you have to keep tabs on at all times?  You can stay ten steps ahead all the time, but you may be the one left behind in the end.

If you need some examples of creeping and looking crazy, click on these links from Kevin Hart’s stand up 🙂

Psychopath Girl

Bitch in the Trunk


A Trail of Sparkles

Men and women have all had that loss of reality moment.  That moment where all common sense and rational thought go out the window.  You leave your body for a minute then realize how ridiculous you sound and come back down to reality. We all have a little bit of crazy in us.

One day, I was over my boyfriend’s house.  We had a nice early evening of fun sex.  Drew was such a big, muscular guy.  He threw me around like a rag doll.  He was standing up holding me in the air while bouncing me off of him.  I loved every minute of it.  We finished up our little romp session.  He asked me if I could help him with redding up his room and putting away laundry.  I was clearing out his gym bag for him.  I found a few bobby pins in it.  I did not wear bobby pins.  Drew had a shaved head.  I started a whole round of 20 questions in my head.  He was coming back up the steps.  All level-headed thoughts went out the window.  I went off on him.  I said to him, “Who the hell have you been sleeping with?!”  He looked like a deer in head lights.  He wanted to know what I was even talking about.  I opened my hand and showed him all the bobby pins.  I told him I found them in his gym bag.  He was about to answer me when I stopped him.  In his bedroom light, I could see sparkles all over his face.  At this point, I was completely off the ground of reality.  I asked him who had he been with earlier that day that had sparkles on them.  He was looking at me like I was crazy.  Drew told he hadn’t been with anyone besides me since we started dating.  It hit me that I lost my mind.

I went to the bathroom to pee.  I saw sparkles.  I forgot I had put on Jessica Simpson’s dessert powder.  I put it on above my o-BEN-SEX-AND-THE-CITY-570Miss Lucy.  It had sparkles in the powder.  I was accusing Drew of sleeping with some whore with sparkles.  I was that sparkly whore.

It was funny how I went from a rational person to freak out Felicity in the flip of a switch.  I sounded absurd.  Bobby pins and sparkles sent me over the edge.  Really?  Why do most of us assume the worst?  Have we all been lied to and cheated on so much that we cannot believe someone can be faithful?  No one wants their little bit of crazy to show.  You do not want to let the crazy take over your common sense.