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Jeepers Creepers

I can say with confidence everyone is guilty to a certain level of creeping on someone.  It is hard not to do with todays social media and technology.  It makes it pretty easy for someone to find out about another person.  However, some people take it to a whole other level.  They go above and beyond the little innocent creeping to almost stalking in a sense.  ::queue Michael Jackson:: “I always feel like somebody’s watching me..”

I have creeped on people via social media.  It is like window browsing.  You can look, but do not touch.  Amateurs are bad at it.  Some people do not know that LinkedIn shows you who looked at your profile or it tells you one of these people in a group looked at your profile.  You can always guess who it was that looked at your profile.  I have had numerous ex-boyfriends wives or girlfriends, old friends, or ex-boyfriends themselves show up on your LinkedIn.  Rookies.  There are the rookie mistakes of creeping on someone on Facebook and you end up requesting them as a friend.  That is my all time favorite.  I typically call those broads out for shits and giggles.  They are nine times out of ten friends with my guy friend’s new girlfriend.  This is all the innocent creeping.

One of the levels I have not graduated to is the drive by someone’s house.  I know quite a few females who have driven by the guy’s house.  Some have taken pictures as evidence to what cars they saw at the house.  Some have made me be the driver, so the guy would not recognize my car.  It is almost like stalking a person.  What drives a person to do this?  Trust?  Insecurity?  Paranoia?  I know a handful of broads that had decoy Facebook accounts.  They used them to creep.  The problem was they took it to a different level.  They would tell people it was a cousin.  They had a whole back story for this pretend person.  I had a girlfriend get mad at me once because I told someone it was really her.  Who has that kind of spare time to invest in making someone up?  If you have that little of trust in someone, you should probably not be dating them or interested in them.  Another level would be messaging other people who you think are interested in your someone.  I know a few ladies who have indulged in that guilty pleasure.  They try to mark their territory.  The problem with that is no one really cares.  If a wedding ring cannot deter someone from going after another person that is married, your message on social media will fall on deaf ears.  Those types of messages will be laughed at and looked at as crazy desperation.   

Some of my girlfriends are almost private investigator status.  They can find anything out.  My one best friend saw a picture of her man at a fancy bar and she felt like something was off that evening.  She looked up his ex girlfriend’s instagram account.  That broad had the exact same picture up.  They may not have been in each other’s pictures, but they were most definitely at the same bar.  I would say the only way to possibly get away with cheating is by not having any social media.  There is always a downloadcookie crumb trail left behind.

The problem with all of the creeping and stalking antics it kind of makes you look crazy.  It is not the type of crazy that majority of people want others to see in the daylight.  Most people like to hide that crazy in a locked trunk.  These gestures also do not help you keep your love interest or significant other in the long run.  Who wants to be with someone that you have to keep tabs on at all times?  You can stay ten steps ahead all the time, but you may be the one left behind in the end.

If you need some examples of creeping and looking crazy, click on these links from Kevin Hart’s stand up 🙂

Psychopath Girl

Bitch in the Trunk

 

Backwards Sliding

We have all been down the slide backwards at least once in our lives.  Sex with an ex is also known as sliding backwards down a slide.  It usually happens because the relationship ended on good terms and the sex was so good between the two of you.  If you had sex with an ex and the sex was not that great, you were just looking for a fix and had no other options.  I only had two ex-boyfriends that I cared to indulge with after we ended our relationships.  Neither of those relationships ended on a sour note.  I had some of the best sex with those two.  I’d slide backwards all day, every day if it meant I would land on their dick.  

Drew and I became best friends after we broke up.  It took about four months for that to happen.  You have to let the dust settle.  We had some pretty amazing sexual chemistry between us.  He was such a big guy and loved tossing me around like a rag doll.  I loved it rough.  I had just stopped seeing someone and Drew was single.  We both got an itch while we were out with friends.  We staggered our exits.  We did not want anyone in our business.  It was less drama that way.  I met him at his house.  We were both a little tipsy which made for an even better performance.  Drew ripped my bikini off and bent me over the end of his bed.  He was going to pound town while cracking me across the ass.  ::sigh in heaven::  He grabbed me up and tossed me onto his bed.  He dove right in after the ass and pikachu.  Oh hey.  I wasn’t even mad about it.  The beautiful thing was after we had sex it was back to business as usual between us.  It was the greatest friendship.

Peter and I was a slightly different story.  We made the mistake of having sex immediately following the break up.  It was great sex.  It was not ideal for the emotional part.  Sex with an ex only works when the feelings have washed away.  Granted, I still think about this one time we had sex after we broke up.  We broke up and had not seen each other in two weeks.  He came over my place to put up my curtains in the living room.  The problem was he did not bring those tools.  It slightly foiled my plan.  I explained that I planned on offering something as a thank you for the curtains.  I was sitting on the floor.  Peter got down off the couch and crawled over top of me and asked me, “What kind of thank you?”  He knew what I had up my sleeve or between my legs.  Ha.  We started kissing so hard and passionately that it lit a fire in-between my legs.  We tore off each others clothes.  Peter smiled when he felt how turned on I was for him.  He made me smile with his eight plus inches in my Miss Lucy.  There was a giant box on the floor behind us that kept getting in the way.  We did not even care.  It was so animalistic.  Whew.  I still get those feel good chills thinking about it.  

There is nothing wrong with sliding backwards as long as there are no feelings involved in the situation.  Feelings make sex with an ex very messy for everyone.  Friends are like annoying birds in your ears.  It is more unneeded aggravation.  It is usually best to keep that information under wraps.  Some people will never understand how two people that used to date can be friends and occasionally enjoy a romp.  Sex with an ex is great because you trust each other and know what each other likes in the bedroom.  What more could you ask for?  ::two snaps and around the world::  Do not let anyone yell at you for playing on the playground.  The swings are fun, but the slides are better when you go down backwards. 

The Rebound

What is a rebound in a relationship?  A rebound is when someone gets out of a serious relationship and finds a new someone to band-aid their feelings.  It is a distraction for them.  It is a way to avoid dealing with their feelings from their ex.  The problem with that is you fall into something with an illusion.  Most people project their feelings from the last relationship into the rebound.  It does not always work out well to rely on a rebound to save yourself from the real pain.

Can a relationship or marriage really work out in the long run with a rebound?  I believe 99% of the time it will not work out.  You do not give yourself time to heal and learn from your last relationship.  How can you open your heart truly when it is attached to someone else?

My ex-boyfriend, Gary, and I cut friendly ties at the end of March in 2007.  Gary started dating Melinda in April. She moved into his apartment by June.  They were engaged in July.  I heard from people who knew Melinda that she was cheating on Gary with her ex-boyfriend while they were engaged.  Gary and Melinda got married in July 2008.  It was about two weeks after their wedding that she told him she wanted a divorce.

I ended my relationship with Barry in May 2011 when I found out he was cheating on me for the umpteenth time with Natalya.  That was the last slap in the face I was going to take because she was a math teacher.  Everyone knows women math teachers are not known for their looks.  They immediately started dating in June.  How could you date someone and be able to trust them knowing they cheated on their last significant other?  Barry started texting me about how he missed me and all that other nonsense.  He was doing what he did to me to Natalya.  I did not feel bad for her because she was stupid enough to be the rebound knowing he was not faithful in his last relationship.  Over the past few years, I would find out he was creeping on my social media pages and trying to reach out.  I had no desire to have him be in any part of my life.  I got a text from a mutual guy friend last year telling me that Barry was a creep.  Barry was engaged to Natalya and hitting on our friend’s sister at a country concert.  I was not surprised.  Barry and Natalya just got married this year.  

I wonder how that marriage with a rebound will work out.  I know which side I have my bet on.  There may be a few couples who can make it work for the long haul with a rebound.  However, lezbehonest, 9 times out of 10 it does not work out.  The rebound is just like a basketball.  We all love to bounce a ball.  But it can only bounce for so long before it comes to rest on the ground.  The truth always rolls out of us.