Jeepers Creepers

I can say with confidence everyone is guilty to a certain level of creeping on someone.  It is hard not to do with todays social media and technology.  It makes it pretty easy for someone to find out about another person.  However, some people take it to a whole other level.  They go above and beyond the little innocent creeping to almost stalking in a sense.  ::queue Michael Jackson:: “I always feel like somebody’s watching me..”

I have creeped on people via social media.  It is like window browsing.  You can look, but do not touch.  Amateurs are bad at it.  Some people do not know that LinkedIn shows you who looked at your profile or it tells you one of these people in a group looked at your profile.  You can always guess who it was that looked at your profile.  I have had numerous ex-boyfriends wives or girlfriends, old friends, or ex-boyfriends themselves show up on your LinkedIn.  Rookies.  There are the rookie mistakes of creeping on someone on Facebook and you end up requesting them as a friend.  That is my all time favorite.  I typically call those broads out for shits and giggles.  They are nine times out of ten friends with my guy friend’s new girlfriend.  This is all the innocent creeping.

One of the levels I have not graduated to is the drive by someone’s house.  I know quite a few females who have driven by the guy’s house.  Some have taken pictures as evidence to what cars they saw at the house.  Some have made me be the driver, so the guy would not recognize my car.  It is almost like stalking a person.  What drives a person to do this?  Trust?  Insecurity?  Paranoia?  I know a handful of broads that had decoy Facebook accounts.  They used them to creep.  The problem was they took it to a different level.  They would tell people it was a cousin.  They had a whole back story for this pretend person.  I had a girlfriend get mad at me once because I told someone it was really her.  Who has that kind of spare time to invest in making someone up?  If you have that little of trust in someone, you should probably not be dating them or interested in them.  Another level would be messaging other people who you think are interested in your someone.  I know a few ladies who have indulged in that guilty pleasure.  They try to mark their territory.  The problem with that is no one really cares.  If a wedding ring cannot deter someone from going after another person that is married, your message on social media will fall on deaf ears.  Those types of messages will be laughed at and looked at as crazy desperation.   

Some of my girlfriends are almost private investigator status.  They can find anything out.  My one best friend saw a picture of her man at a fancy bar and she felt like something was off that evening.  She looked up his ex girlfriend’s instagram account.  That broad had the exact same picture up.  They may not have been in each other’s pictures, but they were most definitely at the same bar.  I would say the only way to possibly get away with cheating is by not having any social media.  There is always a downloadcookie crumb trail left behind.

The problem with all of the creeping and stalking antics it kind of makes you look crazy.  It is not the type of crazy that majority of people want others to see in the daylight.  Most people like to hide that crazy in a locked trunk.  These gestures also do not help you keep your love interest or significant other in the long run.  Who wants to be with someone that you have to keep tabs on at all times?  You can stay ten steps ahead all the time, but you may be the one left behind in the end.

If you need some examples of creeping and looking crazy, click on these links from Kevin Hart’s stand up 🙂

Psychopath Girl

Bitch in the Trunk


Not Tonight Hun…

How many times have you given an excuse or gotten an excuse to get out of having sex with your significant other?  I am guilty of giving excuses in two past relationships.  Those would have been with Gary and Barry.  Those are two relationships I wish I could erase from my life.  Also that is a pretty big red flag that you would rather give an excuse than have sex with your girlfriend or boyfriend.

Gary was very generic in the bedroom department.  He looked at my crazy when I brought home real handcuffs for us to use.  I think I tried to use them once on him and he started whining like a baby.  There were many times I would try to be spontaneous and have sex at the apartment.  Many of those times he told me he just wanted to relax and watch TV.  I would end up in the bedroom having “me time.”  He was also not known for much stamina.  It was usually no frills sex and only lasted a few minutes.   I went from fun, marathon sex and adventures with Ken and Cameron to watching grass grow in the bedroom.  This was not something I was used to in the sex department.  Gary never got me to orgasm.  I am not sure if he even knew how to get a woman off.  It got to the point Gary would nudge me for sex before bed.  I would think is it worth the five minutes?  Do I really get anything out of it in the five minutes?  Do I really want to get up and cleaned off after the five minutes?  The answer kept circling back to not tonight hun.  I would say I had a headache or stomach-ache.  I would hear a grumble from him as he rolled over.  I have no idea why I stayed in that horrible relationship for two years.

Barry thought he had a big one in his pants.  I guess in high school he was nicknamed horse.  It was big girth wise.  I have definitely dated guys bigger than he was in that department.  He did not know how to work it very well.  The baby talk did not help in that department either.  He was another one that never got me to orgasm.  There were many times I told him I had a stomach-ache to get out of having sex with him.  He would then start talking to me like a baby and trying to hold my stomach.  It still makes me cringe.  I am not sure why I ever even dated him let alone why I stuck around for a year and seven months.

My advice to anyone that does this excuse often or receives this excuse is to get out of the relationship.  There is something wrong that two people in a relationship are avoiding having sex with one another.  You need to talk to the other person and see what the problem is between you two.  Or you need to part ways.  It does not make you a bad person.  It means you weren’t sexually compatible with each other.