Archives

Catch & Release

If you do not plan on eating your fish for dinner, you would catch and release it.  You can use this same idea for having sex.  This type of sex is not for everyone.  There are many people who are not comfortable with a one night stand or mid day rendezvous.  I find it exciting to indulge in it every now and then.  Different strokes for different folks.

I tend to go on Tinder when I’m bored to swipe through the men deck.  I typically do not look at their details.  It is for shits and giggles.  Well, I matched with this 22-year-old.  Lets call him Charlie Conway from the ‘Mighty Ducks.’  He was a good-looking guy.  His beard made him look a little older.  We exchanged a few messages.  It was nothing serious.  Charlie ending up messaging me the following day to find out what I was going to do for the day.  I told him I was going to the beach with my friends. He mentioned that we should meet up.  I dismissed the message and closed the application.  I was looking forward to a day with my friends, soaking up some rays and throwing back some beers.

Jude and I walked up to the tiki bar on the beach to order some drinks.  I noticed a guy sitting with a group on the other side of the bar.  He looked familiar. Hmm.  I opened Tinder on my phone to Charlie’s profile.  I asked Jude if he thought the guy at the bar and on my phone was the same person.  Jude thought if it wasn’t the same person then they must be related.  I messaged him to confirm our thoughts.  He wasn’t picking up that I was at the same place as him.  I heard him say, “The chick from Tinder.  She’s 32.”  Come on now.  I messaged him and said, “Stop shouting my age like a football score!”  He looked shocked and told his buddies that I heard them.  They all started looking around for me.  I waved with a smile.  I owned it.  I walked over and talked to him.

I quickly learned that Charlie was in college, on the hockey team, and flying out later that evening to go home.  This would be the perfect opportunity for a catch and release afternoon delight for me.  Yes, it also would make me an official cougar since he was ten years younger than me.  Ain’t no shame in my game.  Him and his one teammate kept saying they needed a shower before heading to the airport.  Jude knew what I was thinking without me saying anything.  Jude signaled for me to go for it.  It would make for a good story.  I invited Charlie and his buddy back to my place for showers, beers and food.  Charlie asked me to join him in the shower.  I stripped down and jumped in there with him.  We started in there and finished on my bed.  It was pretty good minus the end.  I told him to cum on my chest.  He must not shoot the puck often on the ice because he shot wide right.  I luckily sensed his poor aim and turned my head.  Whew.  I saved my hair.  We got dressed then Charlie and his buddy left for their flight.  My friends and I grilled out then watched a scary movie.  It was a successful day.

What were the chances of running into Charlie that day.  There are probably quite a few of you judging me.  That is okay.  You get to read about it because I lived in the moment.  I did not think I would hear from him again since he lived in the northeast.  I was wrong.  Apparently, the younger men think they are entitled to receive pictures after they have sex with you.  They also do not understand that most people do not have a catalogue of naked pictures saved on their phone to send out on a whim.  It is quite comical.  I did save the best part for last.  You may think I came up with his character name due to him being younger and playing hockey.  That contributed to it, but he had a tattoo of the ‘Mighty Ducks’ on his ass.  Charlie definitely worked the flying V angle.

Tinder Experiment: Day 3

imageI have racked up 27 matches in three days.  How many is too many though?  Tinder reminds me of a game.  Especially when it tells you that you have a match and you can either message them or keep playing.  It also has the slight feeling of speed dating.  The pro would be that you did not actually have to see them in person for the speed round.  You get to swipe through your stack of men at your own pace.  The other nice feature I found on Tinder is the “unmatch” button.  I would assume you use this after you had a conversation with a person.   Or maybe you accidentally swiped right.  In my instance, I would unmatch myself from the two creeps.

There are quite a few men who post pictures that make you feel embarrassed and wonder where their mom is at in their life to hit them upside the head.  I do not care if it is Tinder, Snapchat, or whatever.  You should not be putting your goodies out there for anyone in a 50 mile radius to see.  What ever happened to anticipation?  If you put it all out there for any Jim, Joe, and Bob to see, how do you expect to be treated like a lady or a grown man?  Ain’t nobody want your biscuits and gravy if they think everyone has taken their bread and sopped some up.  

Lezbehonest, there are too many irresponsible, loose legged, red rocket out, type people and STDs now a days.  Some of you should double wrap it up.  Channel your inner booty call.11521311_gal.jpg

Tinder Blamed for STD outbreak last year

 

Strange in a Different State

When you meet someone, you can tell if you vibe with them or like their vibe.  Sometimes you know instantly and others it may strangetake a little longer to figure out.  I am not promoting sleeping with someone the first time you meet them.  I live life as if tomorrow is not guaranteed.  I do not want to wake up tomorrow with regrets.  If you meet someone and you feel that vibe, you should do what you want to do.

I was on a family vacation in late May 2012.  We went to New Orleans for six days.  It was actually my fathers bowling trip.  A lot of fun adults to get into muckery with on Bourbon Street.  My one best friend, Tara, lived near New Orleans, so she drove up for the weekend.  We went out Friday night.  It started off with hand grenades.  Those will sneak up on you.  I was finishing my hand grenade outside of the bar while her and Bob were eating.  A really handsome, tan, blonde haired guy stopped to talk to me.  I was a little intoxicated, so I cannot remember the whole conversation.  I know we talked about hockey because I have a Penguins tattoo and he was all about the Blackhawks.  His name was Scott.  He was with a couple of his buddies on a bachelor party.  Tara and Bob came out of the bar to find me with my new guy friends.  We bar hopped around together.  I got on stage at one of the bars and shook my ass to the song ‘Shake your Booty.’  We all know I got a donk back there.  There are pictures of Scott and I kissing in the bar.  You know I am drunk when I am in public and showing affection to someone.

It was getting late.  It was down to Tara, Scott, Steve, and I.  Tara looked at me and said, “What do you want to do?”  I had a shit eaten grin on my face and she stopped me before I could answer her question.  She said, “Never mind, I know what you want to do.”  She had a quick talk with Scott.  I am sure she wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to end up killing me.  Tara knew he did not have to drug me to have sex since I was pining for him from the moment I laid eyes on him.  There is nothing wrong with giving into what you want.  She took Steve to get food, so Scott and I could go back to his hotel.  We got back to his hotel and clothes went flying everywhere.  He was a boy scout and had a condom.  We were having some great sex, but he thought something was weird.  He thought the condom felt funny.  We found out from Steve the next morning it was a tingling sensation condom.  That would explain the weird and funny feeling he had while we were having sex.

Tara said the hotel room was ringing, but she did not answer it.  She wanted to get the story I was going to give my parents before she talked to them.  I was honest.  He walked me back to my hotel.  My parents were less than thrilled with my choice.  They both said, “Leave it to you to get strange in a different state.”  I did not care.  It was totally worth it.  The best part he was there until Monday.  We got to have sex for two more nights.  He was not your typical guy you met on vacation.  We actually talked about ourselves and our lives.  He took me out to breakfast and pulled out the chair for me.  He was a gentleman.  The bonus was finding out he was a Chicago fireman.  The thought of him in his gear running into a burning building to save a family made me weak in the knees.  There is just something about a man in uniform and running into danger.

I had no regrets.  I had a blast on vacation.  I got some good dick.  His friends were pretty cool.  We had each others phone numbers.  I truly did not know what could happen between us after I walked him to his hotel Monday morning and hugged.  I did know he could put out my fire anytime he wanted to in between my legs.