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Catch & Release

If you do not plan on eating your fish for dinner, you would catch and release it.  You can use this same idea for having sex.  This type of sex is not for everyone.  There are many people who are not comfortable with a one night stand or mid day rendezvous.  I find it exciting to indulge in it every now and then.  Different strokes for different folks.

I tend to go on Tinder when I’m bored to swipe through the men deck.  I typically do not look at their details.  It is for shits and giggles.  Well, I matched with this 22-year-old.  Lets call him Charlie Conway from the ‘Mighty Ducks.’  He was a good-looking guy.  His beard made him look a little older.  We exchanged a few messages.  It was nothing serious.  Charlie ending up messaging me the following day to find out what I was going to do for the day.  I told him I was going to the beach with my friends. He mentioned that we should meet up.  I dismissed the message and closed the application.  I was looking forward to a day with my friends, soaking up some rays and throwing back some beers.

Jude and I walked up to the tiki bar on the beach to order some drinks.  I noticed a guy sitting with a group on the other side of the bar.  He looked familiar. Hmm.  I opened Tinder on my phone to Charlie’s profile.  I asked Jude if he thought the guy at the bar and on my phone was the same person.  Jude thought if it wasn’t the same person then they must be related.  I messaged him to confirm our thoughts.  He wasn’t picking up that I was at the same place as him.  I heard him say, “The chick from Tinder.  She’s 32.”  Come on now.  I messaged him and said, “Stop shouting my age like a football score!”  He looked shocked and told his buddies that I heard them.  They all started looking around for me.  I waved with a smile.  I owned it.  I walked over and talked to him.

I quickly learned that Charlie was in college, on the hockey team, and flying out later that evening to go home.  This would be the perfect opportunity for a catch and release afternoon delight for me.  Yes, it also would make me an official cougar since he was ten years younger than me.  Ain’t no shame in my game.  Him and his one teammate kept saying they needed a shower before heading to the airport.  Jude knew what I was thinking without me saying anything.  Jude signaled for me to go for it.  It would make for a good story.  I invited Charlie and his buddy back to my place for showers, beers and food.  Charlie asked me to join him in the shower.  I stripped down and jumped in there with him.  We started in there and finished on my bed.  It was pretty good minus the end.  I told him to cum on my chest.  He must not shoot the puck often on the ice because he shot wide right.  I luckily sensed his poor aim and turned my head.  Whew.  I saved my hair.  We got dressed then Charlie and his buddy left for their flight.  My friends and I grilled out then watched a scary movie.  It was a successful day.

What were the chances of running into Charlie that day.  There are probably quite a few of you judging me.  That is okay.  You get to read about it because I lived in the moment.  I did not think I would hear from him again since he lived in the northeast.  I was wrong.  Apparently, the younger men think they are entitled to receive pictures after they have sex with you.  They also do not understand that most people do not have a catalogue of naked pictures saved on their phone to send out on a whim.  It is quite comical.  I did save the best part for last.  You may think I came up with his character name due to him being younger and playing hockey.  That contributed to it, but he had a tattoo of the ‘Mighty Ducks’ on his ass.  Charlie definitely worked the flying V angle.

A Letter from the Writer

A BIG Hello to all of you that follow or take the time to read my blog!  It has been just a little over a year since I started blogging.  I have a little under 50 followers.  There are 82 posts up on my site and 60 comments.  I do not write all the time.  I would like to start being more consistent.  It is a slight roller coaster ride.  I developed such a passion for writing while obtaining my bachelors degree at Duquesne University that I wanted to find an outlet for it.  The majority of you, who know me well, know why I chose the blog topic.  There is humor, honesty, and real feelings in my writings on here.  This blog is not for everyone.  There are people who like to keep what goes on in their bedroom behind closed doors.  There has never been any shame in my game.e9b36cbcc5565bf0d9d035740f3eb959

This hobby of mine helped me figure out what career I could see myself flourishing in the very near future.  I am currently studying for the GRE that I am set to take in November.  I will hopefully be starting grad school next fall in ‘Rehabilitation and Mental Health Counseling’ program with a concentration in ‘Marriage, Family and Sex Therapy.’  I have been in the healthcare industry since 2007.  I learned that I am not built to be a corporate person.  I do not like being put in a 87c7a9fa5bf3396724cc21843739d478box because corporate people hate not being able to categorize you in life.  I have never been able to fit in a box.  My personality colors outside the lines.  A therapist would be the perfect fit for me.  I would be able to help people.  That is what I want to do.  It feels great to be able to be there for someone and help them.  Those are all reasons that flow into coaching volleyball.  I love being a coach.  You get to be a role model for young kids.  You teach them skills in the sport and in life.  It is hard work growing up as a girl.  There are mean girls, emotions, and life that get in the way.

I used to think that after high school people were adults and grew up.  I quickly realized that not everyone grows up.  There are women in their 50’s and 60’s that still act like children.  Do you get upset over these types of people?  No.  You cannot live your life for other people.  You cannot please everyone.  You would kill yourself trying to do it.  Not everyone is going to be a fan of yours.  There will always be a small section of people waiting to see you fail in life.  Your job is to focus on yourself and the huge crowd of people rooting for you.  See the positive.  Ignore the negative.

af9bcdcbe9bac94850c737a006d84bd2This year alone..  

  • I had one person using another one’s identity to message me on Facebook.  I told the real person that they had been catfished.  I blocked the fake account and went on with my life.  A month later, this person then found their way to my blog and tried to write a nasty gram on here.  I spammed their comment and moved on.
  • I had another person leave a comment on my blog about being a bigger girl.  I took that opportunity and posted their message on my social media to show how sad and unfortunate some people are in their lives.
  • I recently heard their was a group of ladies bad mouthing me in Pittsburgh.  I left that city over three years ago.  Why would my name come up?  What is there to even say about me?  Do they not have anything else to talk about?  I have not thought about those people let alone the time or care to talk about them.  I had someone there to stick up for me and shame them for their child like antics.  They lived to tell about it since I am now writing about it.  Ha.
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I may have let those types of people have control over my feelings when I was younger.  Now, I am in control of how I feel.  Those ladies talking bad about me did not make me look bad.  They made themselves look bad.  It is humorous and sad that they are lacking that much substance in their life.  If you have that much extra time on your hands, you should go get another job, hobby, or help with a charity.  The negative, hateful Trump’s in the world are holding us down as a society.  Imagine if these people took that time and turned it into something positive for their everyday life.  I try to live9abd0a5fa99bfcb19cffbad2dd2b06fa the mantra of PLUR.  The world would be a better place if everyone tried to see the light in others and took each day as an opportunity to make a positive impact on it.  

I am a compassionate and honest person.  I am the type to send out birthday, anniversary, and thank you cards.  A letter in snail mail has a big impact.  It is nice to receive something other than the every day bills in the mail.  Someone gets married, has a kid, or loses a family member and I am the person to send them a card or a gift.  My one good guy friend in college lost his sister.  I sent him flowers.  My other good guy friend lost his grandmother in college.  We sat around passing a bottle of Bacardi 151.  Did I want to drink that?  No, but I did it anyway.  Another good guy friend was in the city for the holidays while everyone else was with their families.  I took him a couple of plates of food from my family dinner.  There was a group of girls that bullied me in Pittsburgh.  One night, one of those girls was hammered and left by herself at a bar.  I knew she lived somewhere on my route home.  I had someone help me carry her to my car.  She passed out in my car, so I had to call a mutual guy friend to help me find her house.  I woke her up and helped her into her house.  Did I have to do that?  No.  Would she have done the same for me?  Probably not.  Did I expect a thank you?  No.  Why did I do that?  Because that is the type of person I am at heart.

74849df6c6398c7dc2cae99002ab3163I have done some things in life that I would have done differently today.  I cannot go backwards in life.  I can only go forward.  We all sin differently.  Those mistakes, falls, bumps, sins and so on help make us who we are today.  I am human.  I am not and will never be perfect.  I can only hope to learn and grow as the days, months and years pass.  I have one full-time job.  I also have one and sometimes two part-time jobs.  I own my own home.  I have lived in different cities.  I have made lots of friends that turned into family along the way.  Some of those people left such lasting impressions on my heart and soul.  

I have and always will be bluntly honest.  That is why this blog is fun to write.  It is pure honesty with some fun humor and serious undertones.  It is a way to connect to people.  There are other people out there that have had the same experiences or are going through them.  So thank you to all of my followers, friends and family that have been supporting me on this fun journey.  I would also like to thank the negative people who try to throw bad energy my way.  It truly tests people’s characters on how to deal with those types of negative vibes.  It helps me sit back and reflect on how far I have come in life.  I appreciate all of you!  And here’s to another year of writing.  Stay tuned! 

With Love,  Britney Leigh 😉

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Nine Months No Sex

Anyone can have sex at anytime.  It depends on how much you want it or how desperate you are for it.  You could truly love sex.  I have heard of people using Tinder as a bet to see who could get laid before 2:00am.  I have always been a “in the moment decision” type of person.  I went nine months of no sex by choice.  I could have very easily of had sex with someone in that time.  I was actually going to see if I could make it a full year at that point.  I was interested in becoming a born again virgin.  Ha.  ::clean that slate::

I started the sex hiatus after douche bag Bill.  I went through some medical scares.  I was over men at that time.  I wanted nothing from them.  I was perfectly content with my double A batteries.  I realized that I made it to nine months.  I was surprised that I made it that 4b6b59aaaa5bf12b86fd406e3d4b8005far.  Did I miss sex to the point of wanting a random pickle in my jar?  No.  Did I think about sex?  Yes.  Everyone enjoys sex.  It is human nature.  I even had my one guy friend, Jaxon, just cuddle and lay on me once during my hiatus, so I could feel the weight of a man on me.  ::queue Sex and the City quote::  I have come a long way from my young twenties.  The old, younger version of me acted on every Energizer Bunny impulse.  The seasoned broad that I am now is more selective on the produce that enters the store in-between her legs.

I made it to nine months of no sex.  I started entertaining the idea of going a whole year.  It meant my Miss Lucy was tight and right.  Sharon Osborne supposedly said she had vaginal tightening surgery done to her.  You could go the easier route of indulging in no sex and ben wa ball exercises.  The thought of making it to a year was ended by one of my gorgeous Ron Burgundy friends.  Grayson and I met three years ago through one of our mutual friends.  I had a boyfriend at the time when him and I first met.  When Peter and I broke up, Grayson and I started text messaging and snap chatting one another.  It was so easy to talk to him.  It was even easier to sext with him.  We were both pretty good at exciting one another.  This went on for two years between us.  The build up of sexual tension was beginning to be wound up tighter than Joan River’s face.  It was fun to fantasize about the day we would finally get to feel each other’s naked bodies.

That day happened when I was on my hiatus.  He was in town for a gig.  We were exchanging messages throughout the night.  I was definitely feeling pretty good.  Alcohol gave me confidence and took away my nerves.  Okay, okay, I was drunk.  It probably was better for the situation though.  Two years of sexual anticipation had a lot to live up to.  It started to pour down rain.  I showed up to his hotel room drunk, frisky, and wet.  There was polite chit-chat before we started ripping each other’s clothes off.  I am pretty sure my Miss Lucy was drooling at the sight of him and his big dick.  Whew.  The first thrust was the most titillating sensation I have felt in a long time.  The thought of it right now gives me the chills.  Lord, baby Jesus.  I remember him saying a few times how tight my vahjayjay was when he slid in and out of me.  Nine months of no sex and kegels truly paid off.  We went a few rounds.  It was salacious.  

I still laugh thinking about how drunk I was that night.  At one point, I remember I sucked his balls in my mouth like I was the powerball machine.  :: yells 35, 23, 18::  All bets are off when I am drunk.  Ain’t no shame in my game.  He left me with some lovely markings to remember the evening.  I had to wear fashionable scarves for a week to work.  Do you think I was bummed that I did not make it to a year of no sex?  Hell no.  That was worth every bit of the two years we had in conversations and pictures.  It was one hell of a way to end my nine month sex hiatus.  He can pokemon my pikachu any day.

Dial-A-Dick

I love the term “dial-a-dick.”  Samantha used that term in ‘Sex and The City.’  It is also known as a “fuck buddy.”  Most people have at least one person they can hit up for sex.  Some people may have a few options in their black book.  These types of relationships were with people you trusted and had really good sexual chemistry with at some point.  It may not have been a serious relationship.  It could have been a causal friend you liked to hang out with on occasion.  My black book was not too shabby in my early twenties.  It worked both ways.  They would hit me up or I would hit them up.  It could be early in the evening or late at night.  It was nice having a reliable dick on call.

Cameron and I may have had more feelings involved, but it was nice knowing we were on the same page.  It did not matter what time it was or where we were at the time.  I would typically go to him since my parents house was not ideal for having male companions over.  My house was a last resort for us.  We were notorious for making use of my vehicles.  We had sex in all three of my cars plus my parents Explorer.  The Explorer was nice because we laid the back seat down, but it gave you brush burn.  Ha.  This deal went on a long time between us.  It was always worth it.

Ken and I also had common ground on this subject.  We may not have been in a relationship, but we had amazing sexual chemistry.  We would either message each other on AIM or text each other.  Our code for each other when we were feeling frisky was mentioning that we wanted a cigarette.  I would drive up to the frat or his house to indulge in a camels cigarette then he’d indulge in me.  We took advantage of each other anywhere and everywhere.  The frat’s stairwell and hallway, the bathroom stalls/showers, his porch, our buddy’s porch and pull out couch, or the normal place his bed.  We had a lot of fun in those few years.

I found one the last few months I was in Chicago finally.  Daniel was always at the same local watering hole as me.  He lived by me.  He had a broad that was into him, but he said that they were not dating.  I took him home one time after the bar.  I have to say I was pleasantly surprised with what he had in his pants.  He had decent sized girth.  We went for two rounds that night.  Daniel was ready to hit up one of our mutual friends to come pick him up in the morning.  I got dressed and dropped him off at his house.  I did not want anyone knowing we were sleeping together.  It always would work out better when the least amount of people knew about your business.  Because people love to stick their nose where it does not belong and stir the pot.

I hit Daniel up another time and he just automatically offered to come over before I even asked him to.  We started going at it on my new couch.  We were ripping each other’s clothes off while trying to keep our hands all over each other.  I thought I was finally going to christen the new couch.  He ended the couch fun by moving the sexapade to my bedroom.  It was still amazing sex.  I am just that person who loves to christen new things in my life.  Ha.

Fuck Buddies are pretty much non-existent anymore.  It is hard to find one especially when you move to different states.  It does not help that it is harder to trust people now a days.  You have to be concered with getting an STD or pregnant if your buddy is not honest with you.  Some men are skeptic and think most broads get attached easily to the dick.  It happens.  Some broads do get dickmatized.  The dick can be that good.  The same goes for men though.  The broad could be bat shit crazy and he does not care because he fell into her rabbit hole.  He got lost in Wonderland.  

Tinder: Update 5

I am “Tindered” out in little over a month.  It is clear that online dating sites or applications are not for me.  It was fun in the beginning.  I was just scrolling through a stack of possible men.  There imagewere guys that were good looking, weird, assholes, creeps, and so on.  You truly did not know what you were going to get with each swipe of your finger.  Not as endearing as a box of chocolates.

The problem for me was meeting someone online creates a veil of possible spark.  It seemed there could be interest there, but you were not completely sure since you hadn’t met them in person yet.  You shared pictures and conversation.  It seemed like there could be the ‘Zsa Zsa Zsu.’  It was actually ‘Zsa Zsa Ew.’  I only met three guys out for drinks the whole time I was on Tinder.  The one I previously wrote about which was not a fit for me.  The other one was very good looking and a nice guy, but there was no spark.  The last guy, who asked not to be a part of this, turned out to be very cool.  I wanted to be friends with him.  It worked out well that way.  None of them turned out to be real sparks though.  Which is why I did not have sex with any of them.

imageThe Tinder fairy tale book is closing for now.  I didn’t want to delete the application justimage in case I needed a laugh again.  The notifications are turned off though.  I will stick with the ‘ol fashioned way of meeting men while I am out and about.  It suits me much better.  I give a lot of credit to people who are on these sites really looking for someone because I got tired of it after a month.  Good luck to all you crazy guys and broads looking for tail or love.  I hope you all find your unicorns and white ponies!  God speed.

 

Tinder: Update 4

imageI do not know which type of guy is worse on Tinder.  The men who are imagecreeps and assholes or the desperate, broad type of men looking for a lifelong partnership.  Is there ever a happy medium?  Do not get me wrong there is nothing wrong with men looking for a serious relationship.  However, I do not think you should skip the small talk straight to the serious relationship talk.  That is usually put off until the three month mark.  I understand not wanting to beat around the bush, but it is a little much all at once in a first conversation.  I know my brutal honesty has been taken as intimidating with some men.  

The guy’s tattoo on the left had me cracking up.  He looks in the mirror every morning and gets a positive message every time, “You’re worth it.”  Can you imagine if a broad got that tattoo above her ass?  HaHa. 

imageWe also have the random married men on there.  They have no shame in their game.  This one in particular laid all his cards out on the table.  He is probably more honest than most men with a ring.  Or maybe his wife really doesn’t know.  Who knows.  It is still a gamble.  I stand firm on the fact that his package picture is nothing appealing to me.  I would much prefer a shirtless picture than that eggplant.  Can you imagine if broads went around posting pictures of them in their underwear showing their camel toes?  Lord, that is a disturbing image!  Ew!  ::Jimmy Fallon, Sara voice::

My surprise came when my one boss came up on my Tinder.  It was slightly awkward.  Do you swipe right, so he is not offended?  Or would he be more offended by you swiping right?  Is that work place sexual harassment?  I made a good joke out of it imageas you see from the screenshot.  He was a good sport about it.  The ironic thing is how many guys do catfish and steal other men’s pictures for their own.  I saw about four or five men posing to be Nick Bateman.  That is the other problem with online sites.  You have no idea if the person you are talking to really matches their pictures they have up on the site until you meet them in person.  I do not know if you blame the superficial world we live in or the narcissistic assholes.

 

 

Tinder Experiment: Day 3

imageI have racked up 27 matches in three days.  How many is too many though?  Tinder reminds me of a game.  Especially when it tells you that you have a match and you can either message them or keep playing.  It also has the slight feeling of speed dating.  The pro would be that you did not actually have to see them in person for the speed round.  You get to swipe through your stack of men at your own pace.  The other nice feature I found on Tinder is the “unmatch” button.  I would assume you use this after you had a conversation with a person.   Or maybe you accidentally swiped right.  In my instance, I would unmatch myself from the two creeps.

There are quite a few men who post pictures that make you feel embarrassed and wonder where their mom is at in their life to hit them upside the head.  I do not care if it is Tinder, Snapchat, or whatever.  You should not be putting your goodies out there for anyone in a 50 mile radius to see.  What ever happened to anticipation?  If you put it all out there for any Jim, Joe, and Bob to see, how do you expect to be treated like a lady or a grown man?  Ain’t nobody want your biscuits and gravy if they think everyone has taken their bread and sopped some up.  

Lezbehonest, there are too many irresponsible, loose legged, red rocket out, type people and STDs now a days.  Some of you should double wrap it up.  Channel your inner booty call.11521311_gal.jpg

Tinder Blamed for STD outbreak last year