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Love, Obsession, and Desperation

Love inspires many feelings, emotions, actions, regrets, and so on.  Love inspires me to throw up in my mouth.  However, love can turn into obsession and desperation.  This is when it turns into an addictive relationship.  There are both men and women who suffer from it.  I am willing to bet there are many of you thinking of a friend or even yourself that has or had this type of unhealthy addiction to someone.  What makes someone so desperate for another person?  It far surpasses being in love with them.  It loses the loving portion of the relationship.  It has more to do with the psychological need for keeping that other person at any cost to them.  The person is their drug.  You will do anything for the fix.

There have been quite a few of my friends that were in toxic or addictive relationships.  However, you cannot help these types of people break the cycle or get out of the relationship until they see the problem in their own mirror.  You try to support your friends through any choice they make because it is their life and not yours in the end.  It is hard to watch from the stands though.  How many times can you have the same pep talk with a certain friend?  How many times does it take for one couple to break up and get back together to realize that their relationship is like a bad movie on a loop?  It reminds me of Albert Einstein’s quote about insanity.  He said, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

There was one couple I knew where the broad was addicted to the guy.  Lets call them Brad and Angelina.  They dated for several years.  The last few months of their relationship the sex life was non-existent.  Red flag.  Brad broke it off between them.  A normal reaction was to be upset about losing your partner especially after investing years with them.  Angelina had a bad habit of crying in public though.  That was not ideal for anyone.  People crying make others feel awkward.  One movie quote always came to mind, “Are you crying?  Are you crying?  ARE YOU CRYING?  There’s no crying!  THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!”   It continued for several months.  Brad was off doing him while she was drowning in tears to everyone around her.  He ended up feeling bad and tried to give it another go around with Angelina.  The friends noticed Brad was not himself when he was out with her.  She was a bit of a ‘Debbie Downer.’  That ride on the merry-go-round blew up pretty quick.  Everyone knew that was going to happen.  Angelina started the water works all over again.  She did that for a couple years.  Brad had fooled around, dated, and had another girlfriend while she probably never even slipped onto a different penis.  A year after their last crash and burn, Brad decided to give Angelina another spin around the track.

They were out to dinner with a big group of friends.  She literally had to be touching him through the entire dinner.  His hand.  His leg.  His arm.  It was as if she thought he would disappear into thin air if she let go of him.  Angelina was glued to his hip, petting his arm with her eyes fixated on him.  It reminded me of the crazy, redhead in ‘Wedding Crashers.’  It was pretty clear that she was addicted to Brad.  She never healed her wounds or dependency issues.  She only saw her glass as half empty without him instead of half full.  She only knew how to be a “we” instead of just a “me.”  There was no self-esteem in those thoughts.  If it didn’t work out after several years and a failed first reconciliation, why would it work now?  Can you evolve if you are still stuck on a person?  Are you that desperate for the fix of one human that you are willing to torture yourself all over again?   How many years can you cry over one person?  How much punishment is worth it?  As a friend, you have to sit back and enjoy your bowl of popcorn while it all plays out on the screen again.  Some people need more than a double feature.

An addiction to someone is not healthy which tips the scale and leaves balance behind.  The majority of people want a partner who can mingle and adapt in a social environment.  The opposite would be the types of people who need a babysitter or act as if they are on a leash.  They cannot go too far from you.  Everyone needs time to themselves or time with their own friends.  When you are married with kids, you need time for you, your husband, and your kids.  You cannot be a mom all of the time and neglect yourself and your husband.  People that have this addiction do not understand the rules of balance to healthy relationships.  There has to be balance in a relationship, friendship, marriage, eating, working out, and anything you do in life.  Moderation and balance are the keys to living stress free.

It is hard for me to understand those types of people’s way of thinking in relationships.  I learned a valuable lesson a long time ago that you need to be happy and content with yourself before you can add someone else to your picture frame.  You do not need someone to make you feel complete.  The only person who can truly make you feel whole is yourself.  I feel it goes hand in hand with “me time.”   Indulging in an orgasm with yourself is the most intimate you can be with your Miss Lucy.  That is truly loving yourself.  Once you are happy and love yourself then you are ready for someone to compliment you in your picture and in your vagina.

A relationship is also give and take between two people which includes the bedroom.  I understand that not everyone is confident or dominant in the bedroom.  If you know your counterpart always initiates sex, you should surprise them and take charge now and then.  Take the reins.  Crack the whip (figuratively or literally).  I am sure the results would be more than arousing.  It could be some of the best sex you had as a couple.  Why?  Because someone broke out of their mold and spiced it up.  It is normal to fall into a routine.  It happens to the best of us.  When you realize it, you need to do something to counteract it.  Never be afraid to color outside of the lines with your partner.  Let your mind be open just like your legs.

A Letter from the Writer

A BIG Hello to all of you that follow or take the time to read my blog!  It has been just a little over a year since I started blogging.  I have a little under 50 followers.  There are 82 posts up on my site and 60 comments.  I do not write all the time.  I would like to start being more consistent.  It is a slight roller coaster ride.  I developed such a passion for writing while obtaining my bachelors degree at Duquesne University that I wanted to find an outlet for it.  The majority of you, who know me well, know why I chose the blog topic.  There is humor, honesty, and real feelings in my writings on here.  This blog is not for everyone.  There are people who like to keep what goes on in their bedroom behind closed doors.  There has never been any shame in my game.e9b36cbcc5565bf0d9d035740f3eb959

This hobby of mine helped me figure out what career I could see myself flourishing in the very near future.  I am currently studying for the GRE that I am set to take in November.  I will hopefully be starting grad school next fall in ‘Rehabilitation and Mental Health Counseling’ program with a concentration in ‘Marriage, Family and Sex Therapy.’  I have been in the healthcare industry since 2007.  I learned that I am not built to be a corporate person.  I do not like being put in a 87c7a9fa5bf3396724cc21843739d478box because corporate people hate not being able to categorize you in life.  I have never been able to fit in a box.  My personality colors outside the lines.  A therapist would be the perfect fit for me.  I would be able to help people.  That is what I want to do.  It feels great to be able to be there for someone and help them.  Those are all reasons that flow into coaching volleyball.  I love being a coach.  You get to be a role model for young kids.  You teach them skills in the sport and in life.  It is hard work growing up as a girl.  There are mean girls, emotions, and life that get in the way.

I used to think that after high school people were adults and grew up.  I quickly realized that not everyone grows up.  There are women in their 50’s and 60’s that still act like children.  Do you get upset over these types of people?  No.  You cannot live your life for other people.  You cannot please everyone.  You would kill yourself trying to do it.  Not everyone is going to be a fan of yours.  There will always be a small section of people waiting to see you fail in life.  Your job is to focus on yourself and the huge crowd of people rooting for you.  See the positive.  Ignore the negative.

af9bcdcbe9bac94850c737a006d84bd2This year alone..  

  • I had one person using another one’s identity to message me on Facebook.  I told the real person that they had been catfished.  I blocked the fake account and went on with my life.  A month later, this person then found their way to my blog and tried to write a nasty gram on here.  I spammed their comment and moved on.
  • I had another person leave a comment on my blog about being a bigger girl.  I took that opportunity and posted their message on my social media to show how sad and unfortunate some people are in their lives.
  • I recently heard their was a group of ladies bad mouthing me in Pittsburgh.  I left that city over three years ago.  Why would my name come up?  What is there to even say about me?  Do they not have anything else to talk about?  I have not thought about those people let alone the time or care to talk about them.  I had someone there to stick up for me and shame them for their child like antics.  They lived to tell about it since I am now writing about it.  Ha.
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I may have let those types of people have control over my feelings when I was younger.  Now, I am in control of how I feel.  Those ladies talking bad about me did not make me look bad.  They made themselves look bad.  It is humorous and sad that they are lacking that much substance in their life.  If you have that much extra time on your hands, you should go get another job, hobby, or help with a charity.  The negative, hateful Trump’s in the world are holding us down as a society.  Imagine if these people took that time and turned it into something positive for their everyday life.  I try to live9abd0a5fa99bfcb19cffbad2dd2b06fa the mantra of PLUR.  The world would be a better place if everyone tried to see the light in others and took each day as an opportunity to make a positive impact on it.  

I am a compassionate and honest person.  I am the type to send out birthday, anniversary, and thank you cards.  A letter in snail mail has a big impact.  It is nice to receive something other than the every day bills in the mail.  Someone gets married, has a kid, or loses a family member and I am the person to send them a card or a gift.  My one good guy friend in college lost his sister.  I sent him flowers.  My other good guy friend lost his grandmother in college.  We sat around passing a bottle of Bacardi 151.  Did I want to drink that?  No, but I did it anyway.  Another good guy friend was in the city for the holidays while everyone else was with their families.  I took him a couple of plates of food from my family dinner.  There was a group of girls that bullied me in Pittsburgh.  One night, one of those girls was hammered and left by herself at a bar.  I knew she lived somewhere on my route home.  I had someone help me carry her to my car.  She passed out in my car, so I had to call a mutual guy friend to help me find her house.  I woke her up and helped her into her house.  Did I have to do that?  No.  Would she have done the same for me?  Probably not.  Did I expect a thank you?  No.  Why did I do that?  Because that is the type of person I am at heart.

74849df6c6398c7dc2cae99002ab3163I have done some things in life that I would have done differently today.  I cannot go backwards in life.  I can only go forward.  We all sin differently.  Those mistakes, falls, bumps, sins and so on help make us who we are today.  I am human.  I am not and will never be perfect.  I can only hope to learn and grow as the days, months and years pass.  I have one full-time job.  I also have one and sometimes two part-time jobs.  I own my own home.  I have lived in different cities.  I have made lots of friends that turned into family along the way.  Some of those people left such lasting impressions on my heart and soul.  

I have and always will be bluntly honest.  That is why this blog is fun to write.  It is pure honesty with some fun humor and serious undertones.  It is a way to connect to people.  There are other people out there that have had the same experiences or are going through them.  So thank you to all of my followers, friends and family that have been supporting me on this fun journey.  I would also like to thank the negative people who try to throw bad energy my way.  It truly tests people’s characters on how to deal with those types of negative vibes.  It helps me sit back and reflect on how far I have come in life.  I appreciate all of you!  And here’s to another year of writing.  Stay tuned! 

With Love,  Britney Leigh 😉

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Backwards Sliding

We have all been down the slide backwards at least once in our lives.  Sex with an ex is also known as sliding backwards down a slide.  It usually happens because the relationship ended on good terms and the sex was so good between the two of you.  If you had sex with an ex and the sex was not that great, you were just looking for a fix and had no other options.  I only had two ex-boyfriends that I cared to indulge with after we ended our relationships.  Neither of those relationships ended on a sour note.  I had some of the best sex with those two.  I’d slide backwards all day, every day if it meant I would land on their dick.  

Drew and I became best friends after we broke up.  It took about four months for that to happen.  You have to let the dust settle.  We had some pretty amazing sexual chemistry between us.  He was such a big guy and loved tossing me around like a rag doll.  I loved it rough.  I had just stopped seeing someone and Drew was single.  We both got an itch while we were out with friends.  We staggered our exits.  We did not want anyone in our business.  It was less drama that way.  I met him at his house.  We were both a little tipsy which made for an even better performance.  Drew ripped my bikini off and bent me over the end of his bed.  He was going to pound town while cracking me across the ass.  ::sigh in heaven::  He grabbed me up and tossed me onto his bed.  He dove right in after the ass and pikachu.  Oh hey.  I wasn’t even mad about it.  The beautiful thing was after we had sex it was back to business as usual between us.  It was the greatest friendship.

Peter and I was a slightly different story.  We made the mistake of having sex immediately following the break up.  It was great sex.  It was not ideal for the emotional part.  Sex with an ex only works when the feelings have washed away.  Granted, I still think about this one time we had sex after we broke up.  We broke up and had not seen each other in two weeks.  He came over my place to put up my curtains in the living room.  The problem was he did not bring those tools.  It slightly foiled my plan.  I explained that I planned on offering something as a thank you for the curtains.  I was sitting on the floor.  Peter got down off the couch and crawled over top of me and asked me, “What kind of thank you?”  He knew what I had up my sleeve or between my legs.  Ha.  We started kissing so hard and passionately that it lit a fire in-between my legs.  We tore off each others clothes.  Peter smiled when he felt how turned on I was for him.  He made me smile with his eight plus inches in my Miss Lucy.  There was a giant box on the floor behind us that kept getting in the way.  We did not even care.  It was so animalistic.  Whew.  I still get those feel good chills thinking about it.  

There is nothing wrong with sliding backwards as long as there are no feelings involved in the situation.  Feelings make sex with an ex very messy for everyone.  Friends are like annoying birds in your ears.  It is more unneeded aggravation.  It is usually best to keep that information under wraps.  Some people will never understand how two people that used to date can be friends and occasionally enjoy a romp.  Sex with an ex is great because you trust each other and know what each other likes in the bedroom.  What more could you ask for?  ::two snaps and around the world::  Do not let anyone yell at you for playing on the playground.  The swings are fun, but the slides are better when you go down backwards. 

Nine Months No Sex

Anyone can have sex at anytime.  It depends on how much you want it or how desperate you are for it.  You could truly love sex.  I have heard of people using Tinder as a bet to see who could get laid before 2:00am.  I have always been a “in the moment decision” type of person.  I went nine months of no sex by choice.  I could have very easily of had sex with someone in that time.  I was actually going to see if I could make it a full year at that point.  I was interested in becoming a born again virgin.  Ha.  ::clean that slate::

I started the sex hiatus after douche bag Bill.  I went through some medical scares.  I was over men at that time.  I wanted nothing from them.  I was perfectly content with my double A batteries.  I realized that I made it to nine months.  I was surprised that I made it that 4b6b59aaaa5bf12b86fd406e3d4b8005far.  Did I miss sex to the point of wanting a random pickle in my jar?  No.  Did I think about sex?  Yes.  Everyone enjoys sex.  It is human nature.  I even had my one guy friend, Jaxon, just cuddle and lay on me once during my hiatus, so I could feel the weight of a man on me.  ::queue Sex and the City quote::  I have come a long way from my young twenties.  The old, younger version of me acted on every Energizer Bunny impulse.  The seasoned broad that I am now is more selective on the produce that enters the store in-between her legs.

I made it to nine months of no sex.  I started entertaining the idea of going a whole year.  It meant my Miss Lucy was tight and right.  Sharon Osborne supposedly said she had vaginal tightening surgery done to her.  You could go the easier route of indulging in no sex and ben wa ball exercises.  The thought of making it to a year was ended by one of my gorgeous Ron Burgundy friends.  Grayson and I met three years ago through one of our mutual friends.  I had a boyfriend at the time when him and I first met.  When Peter and I broke up, Grayson and I started text messaging and snap chatting one another.  It was so easy to talk to him.  It was even easier to sext with him.  We were both pretty good at exciting one another.  This went on for two years between us.  The build up of sexual tension was beginning to be wound up tighter than Joan River’s face.  It was fun to fantasize about the day we would finally get to feel each other’s naked bodies.

That day happened when I was on my hiatus.  He was in town for a gig.  We were exchanging messages throughout the night.  I was definitely feeling pretty good.  Alcohol gave me confidence and took away my nerves.  Okay, okay, I was drunk.  It probably was better for the situation though.  Two years of sexual anticipation had a lot to live up to.  It started to pour down rain.  I showed up to his hotel room drunk, frisky, and wet.  There was polite chit-chat before we started ripping each other’s clothes off.  I am pretty sure my Miss Lucy was drooling at the sight of him and his big dick.  Whew.  The first thrust was the most titillating sensation I have felt in a long time.  The thought of it right now gives me the chills.  Lord, baby Jesus.  I remember him saying a few times how tight my vahjayjay was when he slid in and out of me.  Nine months of no sex and kegels truly paid off.  We went a few rounds.  It was salacious.  

I still laugh thinking about how drunk I was that night.  At one point, I remember I sucked his balls in my mouth like I was the powerball machine.  :: yells 35, 23, 18::  All bets are off when I am drunk.  Ain’t no shame in my game.  He left me with some lovely markings to remember the evening.  I had to wear fashionable scarves for a week to work.  Do you think I was bummed that I did not make it to a year of no sex?  Hell no.  That was worth every bit of the two years we had in conversations and pictures.  It was one hell of a way to end my nine month sex hiatus.  He can pokemon my pikachu any day.

Sins

What is an affair?  Is it only when you physically engage in a sexual act with someone while you are united with another person?  Could it be when you are exchanging friendly messages with someone yet erase the conversations?  If you have to hide it from your significant other, you are already having an affair of sorts.  

If you meet a good-looking man or woman out and they are wearing a wedding ring, what do you do?  The vast majority of everyone including myself immediately shuts down the attraction.  They are taken.  I do not sniff that kind of man out or want to be stirring random pots.  Have I slept with a taken man before?  Yes.  The difference was it was with men I have known and been with for a very long time.  I know, I know, you are judging me as you read that sentence.  I am not using character names for this post due to the significance of it.  Plus, I have long histories with quite a few men.  Keep in mind we all sin differently in life.  You should try to reserve judgement.  No one likes a Judgey McJudgerson holier than though type of person.  amanda-bynes-easy-a

The one guy was engaged.  We had a long history.  Tequila was involved in our evening.  We ended up in the back seat of my car behind a bar going at it like teenagers.  Did I regret it?  No.  Why you ask?  It was as if it was the closure our long intertwined history needed before he jumped the broom.  A part of me loved him and hoped the wedding would not happen.  Two nights before his big day, he text messaged me and asked me to meet him and our buddies out.  I kindly declined.  The night before his big day, he text messaged me and wanted to see me.  It took everything in me to not go see him.  I was realistic with myself and knew he wouldn’t call off the wedding for me.  I was not delusional.  It was not meant to be for him and I.  The other thought was would he do the same thing to me that he was doing to her?

Another guy friend and I were entangled well over a decade before he started dating his now wife.  We were friends before ever sleeping together.  When we started having sex, it was before he started dating his significant other.  I knew I would never have a chance of running into her or meeting her.  We took precautions to keep it quiet after he got engaged.  You are thinking to yourself, “How could she?”  There is a certain way that I look at it.  It is not my mirror to look in every day.  It is his mirror.  It is his relationship.  I truly thought after he got married our long history of bedding adventures would be over.  He was in town one night for a gig and text messaged me.  I went to meet up with him.  Long story short, we ended up in his hotel room still catching up while he was playing Clash of Clans like a nerd.  He asked me what I thought could happen between us.  I told him that I figured our extracurricular activities were over since he took the big plunge.  I also made sure he knew I was not going to be the one to make the first move.  You are thinking, “Why would that matter?”  I know “most” men will not turn down sex.  I did not want to offer it and ruin anything because I made the first move.  I put the ball in his court, so it was his decision to make since it was his marriage.  He chose to cross that line with me.  Did I regret it?  No.  It was his choice.

These are men I have known and been tangled up with for many years.  They are not some randoms that I picked up in a bar.  I know this is not considered high morals for c818422d8d45d68c86f8a3d757514562.jpgmany people.  This is a grey area in my book.  It is hard to forget about all of the history.  Do I have sex with all beaus in my past?  No, absolutely not.  Do I feel guilty about my sins?  No.  I do not have to look into their mirror for their relationship.  That burden is on them.  What’s ironic is that ten years ago I would have said, “I could never do that.”  This is when I learned you truly do not know what you would do until faced with that situation.  You can say you would never do something hypothetically twenty times over.  The problem is when you are actually faced with the situation that your high and mighty attitude could sing a different tune.

One good guy friend of mine had a girlfriend that I became very good friends with in college.  They dated for a long time.  Things seemed to fall a part between them when they were approaching the “Shit or get off the pot” question.  They broke up and went their separate ways.  He started dating someone else.  I cannot remember if he was engaged to this other woman or not, but we were all out one night and he told our girl he was still in love with her.  She shrugged it off since he was drunk.  I told her our true feelings are revealed when alcohol is involved.  There are no filters.  She did not want to re-open her mended heart.  He went onto marry the girl he settled for while she went onto marry someone else as well.  My guy friend was caught numerous times looking at her wedding pictures on social media.  I believe he loved the girl he married, but I also believe a part of him would always love the other one.  You have to wonder if it’s fair to the person you married that part of your heart will always be with another.  Is there any way to truly let go of someone who you loved and cared about on a deep level?  I do not think it is always possible to let go completely.  History always comes into play.

There are other past beaus and guy friends that have come to me for conversation.  Some like to talk about the past.  Others need someone to vent to about what is lacking in their relationships.  Most of them would never dare act on anything.  Fantasizing about another person does not mean your marriage or relationship is over.  It is healthy to a point.  My one best friend’s dad once said, “The day I stop looking at women is when I die.  That’s how you know you’re not dead yet.”  Some of us need an outlet to talk about our frustrations.  It is easier to talk about it with someone whose feelings cannot be hurt by it.  As I said though, it is only healthy to a certain extent.  Even if you do not act on your desires, it does not mean you are not cheating on your significant other in a different way.  I feel a lot of my friends come to me because they know they can trust me.  I would never go around stirring pots or spilling beans for gossip sake.  It would ruin or take a toll on their relationships.  The backlash on me would be absurd.  Nothing would ever make it worth while to me.  This is probably part of the reason I am applying to graduate school in the Rehabilitation and Mental Health Counseling program with a concentration in Family and Marriage, Relationship, and Sex Therapy.  (Shocker Alert).

There are some fairy tale endings in life.  Those people who are meant to be together and never stepped outside of their significant other.  Or maybe they had a hiccup in their relationship and got themselves back on track.  It does not make you a monster or a horrible person.  We are human.  We make mistakes.  We are not perfect.  However, I do not believe everyone was meant to be penguins and mate for life.  A lot of people settle in life.  That is why wandering thoughts, hands and penises happen in relationships. 

 

The Rebound

What is a rebound in a relationship?  A rebound is when someone gets out of a serious relationship and finds a new someone to band-aid their feelings.  It is a distraction for them.  It is a way to avoid dealing with their feelings from their ex.  The problem with that is you fall into something with an illusion.  Most people project their feelings from the last relationship into the rebound.  It does not always work out well to rely on a rebound to save yourself from the real pain.

Can a relationship or marriage really work out in the long run with a rebound?  I believe 99% of the time it will not work out.  You do not give yourself time to heal and learn from your last relationship.  How can you open your heart truly when it is attached to someone else?

My ex-boyfriend, Gary, and I cut friendly ties at the end of March in 2007.  Gary started dating Melinda in April. She moved into his apartment by June.  They were engaged in July.  I heard from people who knew Melinda that she was cheating on Gary with her ex-boyfriend while they were engaged.  Gary and Melinda got married in July 2008.  It was about two weeks after their wedding that she told him she wanted a divorce.

I ended my relationship with Barry in May 2011 when I found out he was cheating on me for the umpteenth time with Natalya.  That was the last slap in the face I was going to take because she was a math teacher.  Everyone knows women math teachers are not known for their looks.  They immediately started dating in June.  How could you date someone and be able to trust them knowing they cheated on their last significant other?  Barry started texting me about how he missed me and all that other nonsense.  He was doing what he did to me to Natalya.  I did not feel bad for her because she was stupid enough to be the rebound knowing he was not faithful in his last relationship.  Over the past few years, I would find out he was creeping on my social media pages and trying to reach out.  I had no desire to have him be in any part of my life.  I got a text from a mutual guy friend last year telling me that Barry was a creep.  Barry was engaged to Natalya and hitting on our friend’s sister at a country concert.  I was not surprised.  Barry and Natalya just got married this year.  

I wonder how that marriage with a rebound will work out.  I know which side I have my bet on.  There may be a few couples who can make it work for the long haul with a rebound.  However, lezbehonest, 9 times out of 10 it does not work out.  The rebound is just like a basketball.  We all love to bounce a ball.  But it can only bounce for so long before it comes to rest on the ground.  The truth always rolls out of us.  

 

A Trail of Sparkles

Men and women have all had that loss of reality moment.  That moment where all common sense and rational thought go out the window.  You leave your body for a minute then realize how ridiculous you sound and come back down to reality. We all have a little bit of crazy in us.

One day, I was over my boyfriend’s house.  We had a nice early evening of fun sex.  Drew was such a big, muscular guy.  He threw me around like a rag doll.  He was standing up holding me in the air while bouncing me off of him.  I loved every minute of it.  We finished up our little romp session.  He asked me if I could help him with redding up his room and putting away laundry.  I was clearing out his gym bag for him.  I found a few bobby pins in it.  I did not wear bobby pins.  Drew had a shaved head.  I started a whole round of 20 questions in my head.  He was coming back up the steps.  All level-headed thoughts went out the window.  I went off on him.  I said to him, “Who the hell have you been sleeping with?!”  He looked like a deer in head lights.  He wanted to know what I was even talking about.  I opened my hand and showed him all the bobby pins.  I told him I found them in his gym bag.  He was about to answer me when I stopped him.  In his bedroom light, I could see sparkles all over his face.  At this point, I was completely off the ground of reality.  I asked him who had he been with earlier that day that had sparkles on them.  He was looking at me like I was crazy.  Drew told he hadn’t been with anyone besides me since we started dating.  It hit me that I lost my mind.

I went to the bathroom to pee.  I saw sparkles.  I forgot I had put on Jessica Simpson’s dessert powder.  I put it on above my o-BEN-SEX-AND-THE-CITY-570Miss Lucy.  It had sparkles in the powder.  I was accusing Drew of sleeping with some whore with sparkles.  I was that sparkly whore.

It was funny how I went from a rational person to freak out Felicity in the flip of a switch.  I sounded absurd.  Bobby pins and sparkles sent me over the edge.  Really?  Why do most of us assume the worst?  Have we all been lied to and cheated on so much that we cannot believe someone can be faithful?  No one wants their little bit of crazy to show.  You do not want to let the crazy take over your common sense.