Archives

Leaving Your Mark

Have you ever wondered if you left a lasting impression on someone or made your mark to be remembered?  How do you even go about leaving that kind of mark or impression on someone?  Is it out of your control?  Lezbehonest, no one wants to be forgettable.

I started talking to a young, southern stud over a year ago.  Keaton did not live in Florida, but he was in the state every so often for work.  He was ten years younger than me but that doesn’t matter when its sexual attraction.  We kept in touch over a year.  We would text, Snapchat, and sext.  I definitely gasped when he sent me a picture of his dick.  It was a beautiful and big.  It was the kind of dick picture that made you want a cigarette after seeing it.  It was fun because it created pent up sexual frustration between us.

After a years time went by, Keaton was in town for work.  I was going a few months of no sex.  He told me where he was staying while in town.  I wasn’t sure if I should seize the opportunity.  I know what you’re thinking, ‘Why the hell not?!’  I was factoring in my hiatus from sex, his big dick, age and if I could successfully ride that stud.

My girlfriends basically smacked some sense into me.  I decided I would go to his hotel, but I needed some liquid courage.  My friends and I started ordering shots while I was tossing some beers back.  I had a solid buzz on and the time seemed to be now or never, so I ordered my uber.  Yes, I ordered an uber to take me to have sex.  I got to the hotel lobby and asked the man behind the desk where to go for Keaton’s room.  He handed me a map.  Oh, this was going to be a fun excursion finding his room drunk.  There were groups of men standing around in the parking lots whistling and so on.  I felt like a hooker.  I found extreme humor in this situation.  I finally found his room.  

Keaton greeted me shirtless with a big smile.  I’m pretty sure I was immediately wet.  ::Whew::  He was thankfully drinking and offered me a beer as well.  We all know first times are better drunk.  We bullshitted for a little bit until he took matters into his own hands.  He pulled me into him and started kissing me hard while running his hands over me.  Clothes started flying off.  The next thing I knew he was pushing that big dick in me. Lawd, baby jesus, I thought I saw the light.  It was that good hurt.  We rolled around for a while before finishing.  We laid there for a little bit.  I attempted to get up and start putting my clothes on when he grabbed my arm and said, “Where do you think you’re going?”  I assumed we were done.  I was wrong.  Keaton pulled me back in bed on top of him.  We went for round two.  It was just as good if not better than our first go around.  Our sexual chemistry was amazing!

I looked at my phone to find my friends were blowing me up.  I looked at Keaton and so badly wanted to stay in that bed for round three.  Yes, he was ready to go again.  However, I knew I needed to get back to reality and meet up with my friends.  He kissed me one more time on the lips and I kissed him goodbye on his forehead.  I got in the uber to head back to my friends.  I walked into the bar and they all started clapping and cheering.  Fucking dicks.  Ha.  

The next day, I woke up with my right boob hurting really bad.  My nipples were extremely sore.  I figured that was going to happen.  I went into the bathroom and turned on the light.  I looked down at my chest.  Holy Shit, there was a huge bruise on my right tit.  You would have thought that someone used it as a punching bag.  It was already gnarly looking in less than a days time.  I wasn’t even mad about it.  I was impressed.  Keaton and I were so into the moment that I didn’t feel any pain.  I sent him a picture of the mark he left me.  Poor stud felt so bad.  I emphasized that it was truly okay.  It was an awesome sex battle wound.  

It was humorous since I could not even lay on my right side to sleep.  I had to go up and down stairs carefully.  Any bouncing motion sent pain through me.  I learned that it is very difficult to keep big boobs from bouncing.  Keaton left his mark alright along with a lasting impression.  He’s welcome to bruise me more next time he comes through town ::wink, wink::

 

Backwards Sliding

We have all been down the slide backwards at least once in our lives.  Sex with an ex is also known as sliding backwards down a slide.  It usually happens because the relationship ended on good terms and the sex was so good between the two of you.  If you had sex with an ex and the sex was not that great, you were just looking for a fix and had no other options.  I only had two ex-boyfriends that I cared to indulge with after we ended our relationships.  Neither of those relationships ended on a sour note.  I had some of the best sex with those two.  I’d slide backwards all day, every day if it meant I would land on their dick.  

Drew and I became best friends after we broke up.  It took about four months for that to happen.  You have to let the dust settle.  We had some pretty amazing sexual chemistry between us.  He was such a big guy and loved tossing me around like a rag doll.  I loved it rough.  I had just stopped seeing someone and Drew was single.  We both got an itch while we were out with friends.  We staggered our exits.  We did not want anyone in our business.  It was less drama that way.  I met him at his house.  We were both a little tipsy which made for an even better performance.  Drew ripped my bikini off and bent me over the end of his bed.  He was going to pound town while cracking me across the ass.  ::sigh in heaven::  He grabbed me up and tossed me onto his bed.  He dove right in after the ass and pikachu.  Oh hey.  I wasn’t even mad about it.  The beautiful thing was after we had sex it was back to business as usual between us.  It was the greatest friendship.

Peter and I was a slightly different story.  We made the mistake of having sex immediately following the break up.  It was great sex.  It was not ideal for the emotional part.  Sex with an ex only works when the feelings have washed away.  Granted, I still think about this one time we had sex after we broke up.  We broke up and had not seen each other in two weeks.  He came over my place to put up my curtains in the living room.  The problem was he did not bring those tools.  It slightly foiled my plan.  I explained that I planned on offering something as a thank you for the curtains.  I was sitting on the floor.  Peter got down off the couch and crawled over top of me and asked me, “What kind of thank you?”  He knew what I had up my sleeve or between my legs.  Ha.  We started kissing so hard and passionately that it lit a fire in-between my legs.  We tore off each others clothes.  Peter smiled when he felt how turned on I was for him.  He made me smile with his eight plus inches in my Miss Lucy.  There was a giant box on the floor behind us that kept getting in the way.  We did not even care.  It was so animalistic.  Whew.  I still get those feel good chills thinking about it.  

There is nothing wrong with sliding backwards as long as there are no feelings involved in the situation.  Feelings make sex with an ex very messy for everyone.  Friends are like annoying birds in your ears.  It is more unneeded aggravation.  It is usually best to keep that information under wraps.  Some people will never understand how two people that used to date can be friends and occasionally enjoy a romp.  Sex with an ex is great because you trust each other and know what each other likes in the bedroom.  What more could you ask for?  ::two snaps and around the world::  Do not let anyone yell at you for playing on the playground.  The swings are fun, but the slides are better when you go down backwards. 

Nine Months No Sex

Anyone can have sex at anytime.  It depends on how much you want it or how desperate you are for it.  You could truly love sex.  I have heard of people using Tinder as a bet to see who could get laid before 2:00am.  I have always been a “in the moment decision” type of person.  I went nine months of no sex by choice.  I could have very easily of had sex with someone in that time.  I was actually going to see if I could make it a full year at that point.  I was interested in becoming a born again virgin.  Ha.  ::clean that slate::

I started the sex hiatus after douche bag Bill.  I went through some medical scares.  I was over men at that time.  I wanted nothing from them.  I was perfectly content with my double A batteries.  I realized that I made it to nine months.  I was surprised that I made it that 4b6b59aaaa5bf12b86fd406e3d4b8005far.  Did I miss sex to the point of wanting a random pickle in my jar?  No.  Did I think about sex?  Yes.  Everyone enjoys sex.  It is human nature.  I even had my one guy friend, Jaxon, just cuddle and lay on me once during my hiatus, so I could feel the weight of a man on me.  ::queue Sex and the City quote::  I have come a long way from my young twenties.  The old, younger version of me acted on every Energizer Bunny impulse.  The seasoned broad that I am now is more selective on the produce that enters the store in-between her legs.

I made it to nine months of no sex.  I started entertaining the idea of going a whole year.  It meant my Miss Lucy was tight and right.  Sharon Osborne supposedly said she had vaginal tightening surgery done to her.  You could go the easier route of indulging in no sex and ben wa ball exercises.  The thought of making it to a year was ended by one of my gorgeous Ron Burgundy friends.  Grayson and I met three years ago through one of our mutual friends.  I had a boyfriend at the time when him and I first met.  When Peter and I broke up, Grayson and I started text messaging and snap chatting one another.  It was so easy to talk to him.  It was even easier to sext with him.  We were both pretty good at exciting one another.  This went on for two years between us.  The build up of sexual tension was beginning to be wound up tighter than Joan River’s face.  It was fun to fantasize about the day we would finally get to feel each other’s naked bodies.

That day happened when I was on my hiatus.  He was in town for a gig.  We were exchanging messages throughout the night.  I was definitely feeling pretty good.  Alcohol gave me confidence and took away my nerves.  Okay, okay, I was drunk.  It probably was better for the situation though.  Two years of sexual anticipation had a lot to live up to.  It started to pour down rain.  I showed up to his hotel room drunk, frisky, and wet.  There was polite chit-chat before we started ripping each other’s clothes off.  I am pretty sure my Miss Lucy was drooling at the sight of him and his big dick.  Whew.  The first thrust was the most titillating sensation I have felt in a long time.  The thought of it right now gives me the chills.  Lord, baby Jesus.  I remember him saying a few times how tight my vahjayjay was when he slid in and out of me.  Nine months of no sex and kegels truly paid off.  We went a few rounds.  It was salacious.  

I still laugh thinking about how drunk I was that night.  At one point, I remember I sucked his balls in my mouth like I was the powerball machine.  :: yells 35, 23, 18::  All bets are off when I am drunk.  Ain’t no shame in my game.  He left me with some lovely markings to remember the evening.  I had to wear fashionable scarves for a week to work.  Do you think I was bummed that I did not make it to a year of no sex?  Hell no.  That was worth every bit of the two years we had in conversations and pictures.  It was one hell of a way to end my nine month sex hiatus.  He can pokemon my pikachu any day.

Fluffers

Fluffers are known as the guys who get male porn stars ready for the camera action.  My definition is similar.  Fluffers are people who get another person all amped up for play, but they never act on it.  Fluffers are frustrating.  What is the point in playing the fluffing game?  Time is priceless.  I do not care to waste my time talking about sexing someone if it is not going to happen.  I would rather indulge in me time than fluff someone.

There are five guys that come to mind for me.  One of the guys, we did heavy petting once at my place.  It was so hot.  However, he never ended up coming over again to cross the finishline.  He told me that he regretted it after I moved away.  A year and a half went by of texting and snap chatting with one another.  I was back in town for one weekend.  In typical fashion, he did not have any follow through for us.  Why the fluff? 

Three of the guys were here in Florida.  It must be a common style in the sunshine state.  Two out of the three of them nothing ever happened between us.  There were many words used.  Numerous attempts to try and meet up.  Many promises of wanting to be naked.  Do people get their rocks off by teasing and never doing anything?  Teasing is all good and fun when you get that prize in the end.  That would be like masterbating and then stopping right before you orgasm.  ::blank stare::

downloadAfter a month or so, I realized it was not worth my time.  If I wanted to get myself excited, I would get my own orgasm.  I do not need some guy trying to fluff me up and not get mine in the end.  If I wanted to have fluff, I would eat it out of a jar.

Over the Fence

Sexual chemistry is a huge part of a relationship.  It is not all about sex, but it is an important subject.  Human beings have physical needs in life.  People may think the sex part is the easiest role.  It is not by a long shot.  I have definitely had my ups and downs in that department.

One night, I was out with friends.  I had a short dress and heels on.  I looked on point.  I was dating Jerry at this time.  He texted me asking how was my night with my friends.  I told him it was going well.  He asked what I was wearing out.  I told him I was looking mighty fine.  Jerry asked if I could meet him at my house.  I told him my parents were home.  He said it did not involve us going inside.  It was close to midnight at this point.  I called it a night and went to meet Jerry at my house.  We were on the patio.  My patio has a fence around it and bushes for privacy.  He told me to walk over towards the one side of the fence.  Jerry told me to pull my panties down to my ankles and spread my legs.  I did what he said to do without asking questions.  He came up behind me and pressed against me.  I was on fire.  He was kissing my neck while one hand was grabbing my right breast and the other was in-between my legs.  Jerry bent me over the fence, grabbed my hair, and pushed inside of me.  It was incredible!  I wish I would have had the idea.  Jerry could dip in my cookie jar anytime.

Who doesn’t sex outside and the chance of getting caught?  Who doesn’t love spontaneous sex?  Who doesn’t love getting bent over?  Who doesn’t love having a significant other who is down for anything?  There are few people who would answer otherwise to those questions.  I love all of thee above.  It definitely spices up your sex life.  It makes for some awesome stories later in life.