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Knuckles Up

What is the average age kids start to indulge in masturbation?  A child starts to notice they have special parts between the ages of two and three.  They play with themselves because it gives them a happy feeling inside.  The kids do not know what they are actually doing though.  The question is when do they realize what that sensation is to them.

My parents used to have parties all the time in Greene County.  The adults would bring the kids over.  The adults would be in the garage and the kids would be inside or on the play set.  There was always a long line for the bathroom.  I was not very good at peeing outside when I was young.  I was six or seven years old at the time.  One of the other girls told me I could get rid of having to pee if I laid on my fist.  She told me to put my fist on my crotch and to lay there until I did not have to pee anymore.  I told her that it gave me a tingling sensation.  She said it worked then.  That was the start of being a cookie monster.

I would lay on my fist every time that I had to pee.  I started doing it when I did not have to pee.  The sensation it gave me was addicting.  I remember in first or second grade that I laid down behind one of the book shelves in the library.  My girlfriends and I would always get a shower together to save time.  I would lay down on my fist before getting in the shower.  I was putting my knuckles up on my Miss Lucy every chance I got.  My mom caught me in our house doing it behind the spare bed.  The cookie monster was out of control.  My mom sat me down and told me that the sensation was actually an orgasm.  I still did not completely understand what that meant or why it was so addicting.

I want to say this is what triggered my openness to sexuality.  I have been getting myself off ever since that first moment.  I am no longer laying down behind bookshelves in schools.  Ha.  I do not want to get arrested for that.  I have graduated to just my bed and shower.  I also take advantage of toys instead of my knuckles.  If I am feeling a little hung over, I indulge in ‘me time’ to get the happy feelings flowing to pick me up.  I love seeing how many times I can get myself off in one sitting.  The record is currently holding at four times.  My one girlfriend recently tied me.  I was so happy for her, but I want to try for five now.  There are few things greater than being open and free with yourself, so you can round those bases into home plate.  Batter, I mean, knuckles up ladies!

Dial-A-Dick

I love the term “dial-a-dick.”  Samantha used that term in ‘Sex and The City.’  It is also known as a “fuck buddy.”  Most people have at least one person they can hit up for sex.  Some people may have a few options in their black book.  These types of relationships were with people you trusted and had really good sexual chemistry with at some point.  It may not have been a serious relationship.  It could have been a causal friend you liked to hang out with on occasion.  My black book was not too shabby in my early twenties.  It worked both ways.  They would hit me up or I would hit them up.  It could be early in the evening or late at night.  It was nice having a reliable dick on call.

Cameron and I may have had more feelings involved, but it was nice knowing we were on the same page.  It did not matter what time it was or where we were at the time.  I would typically go to him since my parents house was not ideal for having male companions over.  My house was a last resort for us.  We were notorious for making use of my vehicles.  We had sex in all three of my cars plus my parents Explorer.  The Explorer was nice because we laid the back seat down, but it gave you brush burn.  Ha.  This deal went on a long time between us.  It was always worth it.

Ken and I also had common ground on this subject.  We may not have been in a relationship, but we had amazing sexual chemistry.  We would either message each other on AIM or text each other.  Our code for each other when we were feeling frisky was mentioning that we wanted a cigarette.  I would drive up to the frat or his house to indulge in a camels cigarette then he’d indulge in me.  We took advantage of each other anywhere and everywhere.  The frat’s stairwell and hallway, the bathroom stalls/showers, his porch, our buddy’s porch and pull out couch, or the normal place his bed.  We had a lot of fun in those few years.

I found one the last few months I was in Chicago finally.  Daniel was always at the same local watering hole as me.  He lived by me.  He had a broad that was into him, but he said that they were not dating.  I took him home one time after the bar.  I have to say I was pleasantly surprised with what he had in his pants.  He had decent sized girth.  We went for two rounds that night.  Daniel was ready to hit up one of our mutual friends to come pick him up in the morning.  I got dressed and dropped him off at his house.  I did not want anyone knowing we were sleeping together.  It always would work out better when the least amount of people knew about your business.  Because people love to stick their nose where it does not belong and stir the pot.

I hit Daniel up another time and he just automatically offered to come over before I even asked him to.  We started going at it on my new couch.  We were ripping each other’s clothes off while trying to keep our hands all over each other.  I thought I was finally going to christen the new couch.  He ended the couch fun by moving the sexapade to my bedroom.  It was still amazing sex.  I am just that person who loves to christen new things in my life.  Ha.

Fuck Buddies are pretty much non-existent anymore.  It is hard to find one especially when you move to different states.  It does not help that it is harder to trust people now a days.  You have to be concered with getting an STD or pregnant if your buddy is not honest with you.  Some men are skeptic and think most broads get attached easily to the dick.  It happens.  Some broads do get dickmatized.  The dick can be that good.  The same goes for men though.  The broad could be bat shit crazy and he does not care because he fell into her rabbit hole.  He got lost in Wonderland.  

Young or Old.. They can both be Restless

It is socially acceptable for a man to date a younger woman.  However, a woman dating a younger man gets a lot more attention and whispers.  Does age really matter?  No, it should not matter.  Does it affect anyone else besides the two people in the relationship?  No.  Is there a law that states what gender can date a certain age of their significant other?  No.  Where is that memo?  I must have missed it.

I have had guy friends in their late 30’s date ladies in their younger 20’s.  I have many girl friends who will only date a certain age range older than them.  I have some friends who date people younger than 21 years old.  I have a rule for myself on that topic.  They must be at least 21 years old to ride this ride.  That is my own personal opinion for my ride.  No judgment.

My ex boyfriend was seven years younger than me.  Lord, let me tell you, the amount of buzzing I heard in my ear and he heard in his from all the nosey ass bees around the hive.  I wish I collected money from everyone who shared their two cents or better yet told them where to shove it.  The majority of it was about me being thirty.  Thirty year old woman should be married or vying for the man of their dreams.  I mean good god in heaven what do you mean she doesn’t want to get married?!  I found it amusing how people reacted to a 30-year-old not racing for the altar.  I was not dating Peter thinking he was “the one.”  I was dating him because I was having fun.  Lezbehonest, the stamina of man in his younger 20’s was like getting to open a Tiffany’s box with a white ribbon every day.  I would be lying if I did not say that was a big part of why I wanted to claim him as my boyfriend.  Peter was definitely hung.  I mean he hung up my curtains well.  Ha.

I will take credit for teaching him some tricks.  Puppies can be trained unlike old dogs.  We had a lot of fun in the sex department.  Public places were always a good time.  The one time we were staying at my parents place in Florida which was a 55 and over community.  We decided to use the screened in patio as a fun romp.  I was hoping to give someone a heart attack.  I am kidding.  Maybe.  There was another time we christened his new truck.  I felt like I was back in high school.  I loved every minute of it.  I will admit I may have fallen for Peter.  That sometimes happens when you get dickmatized.  I know I was in that trance.  I am willing to bet every woman has been dickmatized at least one time in their life.  Men can also get lost in Wonderland as they go deep down the rabbit hole.  Men love those tight, deep, dark, wet holes in Wonderland.

There is no reason that an older woman cannot date a younger man.  There is no age limit for a sexual appetite.  If you can snag a young one, more power to you.  Do not let society tell you who you can date.  We all deserve a good, healthy sex life.  Young or old, we can all be an energizer bunny.  Get in where you fit in.

How did the fairy tale end?  Peter and I only dated less than a year.  It was fun playing in Never Never Land for a short time with him.